Mommy's toolbox--Christmas made simple

We have a wonderful Christmas tradition: PEACE!

Here are some ways to accomplish it:

Don't over-plan. Keep things loose--especially if you are pregnant, or have a nursing infant. Stay away from magazines and/or websites who show other women planning the "perfect" holiday season. Keep your goals simple--a nice tree, a few festive foods, etc. Your attitude will carry the family, not all the fancy doo-dads that you can frustrate yourself with (or perhaps seem so out of reach you give up altogether).

Don't have much money? You can still have fun. Here are some suggestions for all ages that are cheap:

• Salt dough decorations. Mix 2 parts flour, 1 part salt, and just enough water to make a dough. Give portions to your children and let their imagination take wing. Attach a cheap paperclip to the back when they are finished, and bake in your oven at 250 F until dry. Then use cheap acrylic craft paint--usually for about .50 a bottle--and dollar store paint brushes to paint. We do this over and over again throughout the season when the little ones are antsy and need to have something Christmasy to do. For the tiniest hands, you could roll out some and cut with cookie cutters so they could paint them later so they could feel as though they had accomplished something. You could play Christmas music and serve cookies or have a little candy cane while working.
• Chenille stem ornaments. Chenille stems are so cheap--and if you buy the sparkly ones, a child can practically do anything with one and it will look glitsy and great. Don't worry about following any "pattern"--just have them twist at will and praise every effort!
• Colored paper chains. These are still cute and quaint. Just cut strips of colored paper and chain together--easy and fun!
• White lights. These are usually pretty cheap and you could string them on almost anything in your house. We put ours on a screen and our fake fica tree.
• Bake lots of cookies. Don't use expensive ingredients, stay with the staples. Simple sugar cookies with sprinkles, some oatmeal raisin, etc. are just dandy when pulled straight from the oven! Make huge batches and freeze in rolls so you can bake them quickly at any time.

Don't over-commit. Make sure you are not running around too much. Shop online. Don't do the church play. Have one family party, along with your husband's Christmas party, and leave it at that--don't get the guilts about saying "no"--remember what your core responsibilities are, to be a wonderful wife and mommy, not to impress everyone else out there!

And don't pressure and guilt yourself or anyone else in your family about all sorts of activities you feel you need to do, etc.

REMEMBER--you are the spirit of your home. The quaint saying, "If Mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" is so true! Keep a cheerful spirit by giving yourself some elbow room to spend time with God (He is the reason, right?) to get refreshed and rested.

Bible time--Stumbling a Child

Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. Matthew 18:4-5

Children can teach us things. There are reasons that they are tender, yet messy and demanding. They require the best of us, and they bring it out, even when we resist it.

Our little Faith is going through a trying time. She has not been using the toilet, even though she is potty-trained. We have bribed, threatened, and lectured, all to no avail. The fact is, she is not making our lives convenient. It would be so easy to become angry with her and try and force the issue until she felt that she had lost all of our love and esteem.

I have seen it happen. How many times do adults take the frustrations of this life out on their children? It only takes a little inconvenience and many of us begin to peck at the little ones in our lives. I have seen it happen in the barnyard. There will be a little chick whose mother has died, and the other hens, and even the other chicks, will peck at it until it dies.

This is the devil’s plan for families. The very place that should be the sweetest haven of love is turned into one of hellish pain. Instead of facing the weakness that lies within us, we focus on using the weakness of someone else to make us feel powerful.

But this would be murder for little Faith. She is so full of life, so “sparkly” as I call her. She giggles and smiles and charms everyone with her perkiness. When we are dealing with the issues in her life, I never want to give her the impression that she isn’t worth it all. I never want to make her feel as though she is pain to us.

Jesus said, “But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.” When we don’t give our children unconditional love, we are stumbling them. When we give them the false impression that they make our lives less, we stunt them. When we grumble and complain about all the things we have to do for them, we are in peril of receiving God’s wrath.

Parenthood is a privilege. God places in our hands another eternal being at its most vulnerable and gives us the charge of caring for it. Anyone is aware of how fragile a newborn baby is, and we all take great care with even how we move when holding one. But this vulnerability does not stop at infancy. Children need great care and love all through their lives.

Of course, we are only human beings. What I may think my child needs may not be what she perceives she needs. This brings me to two very important conclusions:

1) Children need to be very forgiving of their human parents,

And

2) Parents need to practice selflessness and the leading of the Holy Spirit.

So yesterday, when Faith was going around the house and getting into all sorts of things, God gave me a creative idea to get the focus off of her shortcomings, and onto the blessing she is. I told her she was like “Robbie the Robot” (she loves this character from old sci-fi movies) and that I was her master. I gave her little tasks to do in my best monotone, robot voice, and she carried them out in her best stiff-legged, robot shuffle. She answered every command with “Yes, Mustard”. It was a lot of fun, not just for her, but for me! By using my whole being to communicate love and acceptance to her, I tapped into the unlimited supply of God’s love, for the both of us.

Father, thank You for the privilege of being mommy to Bekky, David, Leah, Grace, Anna, Timothy, Nicole, Joshua, Ryan, Sarah, Eliana, Olivia, Faith, Lorilee and Patience. I am so unworthy of wonderful blessings like these. Give me Your love today, Your patience and longsuffering. I am weak and incomplete. I have blind spots and bad habits, but I am open to Your correction. Make me a better parent for their sakes, and for Yours. I look to You as the perfect Father who will teach me as You bless me with Your unconditional love for me. And bless my earthly parents, and thank You for the investments they made in my life. Let their day be wonderful and filled with Your love today.

In the name of Jesus,

Amen.

Bible time--moving God's heart

Like a crane or a swallow, so did I chatter: I did mourn as a dove: mine eyes fail with looking upward: O LORD, I am oppressed; undertake for me. Isaiah 38:14

I can always tell when I am out of step with God. My prayers become quick and mechanical. I pray because I should, because it is a habit, but my heart and my mind are on other things.

It’s like any human relationship. Two people can live in the same house and barely acknowledge each other until something happens to wake them up to their need for one another.

When any great tragedy, such as a hurricane or tornado, hits a community, something wonderful happens. Neighbors who previously didn’t know each other’s names are seen embracing on national TV. In the time of helplessness they realized they couldn’t handle life without by themselves.

Sometimes it takes a tragedy or a change in life before we will begin to bare our hearts to God. We become deceived into thinking that He expects us to “get a grip” on things and not bother Him too much, or maybe that He is mad at us for not doing so well under duress. Perhaps we are afraid that if we look our difficulty straight in the face and acknowledge it for what it really is, our hearts will fail for fear. So we stifle what is actually going on in our hearts and put on a “good face”, even when we pray.

I believe that God stands by and waits. He waits until we get just desperate enough not to care anymore about our religious perceptions of who He is and until our emotions break forth like water from a dam. Finally, all that we had been thinking and feeling is laid out before Him.

This is a wonderful thing. This is a pattern in scripture. When people are oppressed, they cry out to God. God hears and is stirred with compassion. He begins to deliver and defend them, as they begin to exercise the promise through overcoming faith. In the end, He leads them to a place of rest and peace.

Hezekiah’s prayer in Isaiah 38 is one of the best examples of this. He was struck with a terminal illness and was consumed with pain and suffering.

And said, Remember now, O LORD, I beseech thee, how I have walked before thee in truth and with a perfect heart, and have done that which is good in thy sight. And Hezekiah wept sore. Then came the word of the LORD to Isaiah, saying, Go, and say to Hezekiah, Thus saith the LORD, the God of David thy father, I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will add unto thy days fifteen years. And I will deliver thee and this city out of the hand of the king of Assyria: and I will defend this city. And this shall be a sign unto thee from the LORD, that the LORD will do this thing that he hath spoken; Behold, I will bring again the shadow of the degrees, which is gone down in the sun dial of Ahaz, ten degrees backward. So the sun returned ten degrees, by which degrees it was gone down.

There have been many junctures like this one in my life. I may have been feeling confident in my own abilities, or distracted enough to deny my own vulnerability so that I am not opening up to God, not letting Him too far into my deepest thoughts, desires, etc. It is through my own inability to cope that I am forced to divulge the secret places of my heart.

But I love these times! The true desire of my heart is not ease and comfort; it is Him. He is the “heaven” my soul longs for. When His heart is stirred with compassion for me, I feel as though I am so close that I am resting on his chest, with His arms wrapped around me.

And it blesses Him when we acknowledge that He is not just the only way out, but the best! Just as He did with Hezekiah, so He reaches out to deliver, defend, and place us into safety.

Mine eyes are ever toward the LORD; for he shall pluck my feet out of the net. Psalm 25:15

Father, thank You for “watches” in the night. Thank You for giving me the prerogative and the ability to call on You with my whole heart. You are the best Listener, the best Counselor. You not only listen, You take action. Help me to mix Your promises with faith as I watch You begin to move on my behalf. I am so sorry for the times I forget and get busy doing it all myself. Keep me like the psalmist, with my eyes ever toward You, resting with Your arms of love surrounding me. I pray that no person or thing ever interrupts our sweet fellowship together.

In Jesus’ sweet name,

Amen

Mommy's toolbox--beans, beans, beans!

Cheap food is cheap—full of all sorts of chemicals that our bodies can’t even recognize (and we can’t even pronounce), much less digest and use.

Economical nutrition, on the other hand, is food of another sort. It is taking basic, inexpensive ingredients full of God’s earthy goodness and using them to formulate dishes which are not only nutritious, but delicious!

I once heard that if inmates attempt a food fight in the prisoner’s mess, they are fed a “nutrition loaf” for their next meal(s). This loaf consists of all sorts of nutritious things—but it is horribly nasty looking and nasty tasting.

Beans are sort of like that “nutrition loaf” in most minds. Along with the stigma of being “po’ man’s food”, they are thought of as being bland or pasty, along with the “after affects” that can be embarrassing.

Facts are, beans have been the saving of lives in hard times. During the Great Depression our nation was full of vagrants traveling from one town to another in search of work. Oftentimes it would be a father, holes in the soles of his shoes from walking mile after mile, trying to find employment so he could send money back to his family. Sometimes whole families would travel together, mattress tied on the top of an old family car or truck. A friend of mine remembers families camping across the street from her house, gathering wild greens from the field to make some sort of soup to stave off their hunger. An observant, kind woman kept a pot of beans going and a picnic table in her back yard. Anyone going through her town could count on receiving a good meal of warm goodness—those beans must have tasted like filet mignon to those poor folks!

Beans can help the mother of many in our current times stretch her budget and bless the little bodies growing up in her home. They are so beneficial to one’s health it would take a book, or at least a website, to document them all. Here are a couple:

Bean Bible

Beans-bean recipes-bean facts

I buy my beans in bulk. Pintos come in huge bags almost anywhere, but I have been known to buy my other varieties from a health foods store—just call up and tell them you’d like a whole bag—they have catalogs from distributors and can order for you (work through the local mom and pop type of store)—these beans are organic, which is a plus. You can also buy the smaller bags at your local grocers—they are still a good “bang for the buck”!

Cooking the beans is not rocket science. It’s good to soak your beans all night, then poor off the water, add new water, and cook them in the crock pot. But I often forget, which is wonderful that they don’t have to be soaked—they just take a little longer to cook! I just put them straight in the crockpot (I don’t even boil them first) with lots of water and cook them on high all day (I might have to add a little water later on).

As for water, a good rule of thumb is to add 4 times the amount of beans. Don’t worry if you add too much or too little—just pay attention and adjust as needed.

Some folks like to add a bit of bacon, etc. for flavor—I never seem to get around to this.

Also, if you want soft beans, add a tiny bit of sugar, and if you want hard beans, add some salt—I don’t do either.

Don’t forget to drain them and rinse them, even if they are canned—this greatly reduces the amount of gas you and your family may experience.

Just plain beans and cornbread on a cold day are wonderful, but here are a few other easy things I like to do with beans:

--Butter bean soup—just cook butter beans and add salt—creamy and delicious with a little sandwich or side salad.

--Sautee onions, green and red peppers (I pre-dice these and freeze them in ziplocks so I can throw them in at anytime), add salt and pepper, and create these variations:

• Creole—add black-eyed peas, corn and diced tomatoes (cayenne pepper for the older set)
• Southwest—add pintos or black beans, chili powder, cumin
• Mid-Eastern—add curry powder and chicken broth powder, garbanzo beans, and any others bean varieties that suit you, serve over rice

For more on beans, try another article I have written here.

Bible time--sacrament of living

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. 1Corinthians 10:31

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Colossians 3:23

I love to commune with God. I love to sit and gaze at Him while listening to sweet music and reading the Bible. I love to participate in worship with other believers, where we experience the presence of God and swoon together, wrapped up into His love.

But there is even a greater experience than all of these.

A.W. Tozer wrote a book meant for those of us who want more than just a casual acquaintance with God. He entitled it “The Pursuit of God” and within its pages one can find both definition and direction on the way to experiencing more of the Creator. Besides describing the state of man and how to become released from all that encumbers us, he devotes a whole chapter to what he calls, “The sacrament of living”.

He describes a dilemma; do we live in the world, or do we live in the throne room at Jesus’ feet? It seems we compartmentalize our lives into the sacred and the secular, with prayer and Bible study on the one side, and all of our earthly duties on the other. The outcome of this thinking is confusion and frustration. We become useless to the Gospel as our joy is stolen from us in increments every time we are faced with washing the car or paying the bills.

But Jesus did not experience this frustration. He lived among us, ate and slept, and yet He did not have to make the distinction between the sacred and the secular. We all know that He only did those things which pleased the Father, so could this also mean the times he spent in his family’s house, working as a carpenter? Could it have been that everything he did pleased God? How is this possible?

Brother Lawrence sheds light on this idea. This is what he says about doing everything, “As unto the Lord”:

That he had been lately sent into Burgundy, to buy the provision of wine for the society, which was a very unwelcome task for him, because he had no turn for business and because he was lame, and could not go about the boat but by rolling himself over the casks. That however he gave himself no uneasiness about it, nor about the purchase of the wine. That he said to GOD, It was His business he was about, and that he afterwards found it very well performed. That he had been sent into Auvergne the year before upon the same account; that he could not tell how the matter passed, but that it proved very well.

So, likewise, in his business in the kitchen (to which he had naturally a great aversion), having accustomed himself to do everything there for the love of GOD, and with prayer, upon all occasions, for His grace to do his work well, he had found everything easy, during the fifteen years that he had been employed there.

That he was very well pleased with the post he was now in; but that he was as ready to quit that as the former, since he was always pleasing himself in every condition, by doing little things for the love of GOD.

That with him the set times of prayer were not different from other times: that he retired to pray, according to the directions of his Superior, but that he did not want such retirement. nor ask for it, because his greatest business did not divert him from GOD.

I think that most of us would admit that we can become so caught up in our business that we simply forget to include God at all. Then, when we sit to pray, we feel guilt at not even acknowledging Him throughout our day. I miss out on so much blessing when I live that way. For me, with all of the lives that I am responsible for, it is so easy to become flustered and lose my peace. I don’t often feel I have the time so sit placidly and dedicate myself fully to meditation, especially during the dinner hour when everything is topsy-turvy and there is so much noise. I sometimes don’t understand how my nerves can handle so much confusion—it is not just some ethereal ideal that I hide in God, it is a reality that I must live.

I wish to be more like Brother Lawrence, that my greatest business would not divert me from God.

The name of the LORD is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe. Proverbs 18:10

I want to live trusting and hiding in the moment. I want to have the faith to see beyond the frustrating circumstances I face to the ways in which God is working everything for the good, according to Romans 8:28.

There is a tendency in our culture today to look at everything through the eyes of Hollywood. We don’t seem to appreciate the mendacity of everyday living, but we expect that we will all be about some flashy, hyped-up existence. Even as Christians, we don’t want to think that we will be emptying bedpans as our “spiritual act of worship”, but we do hope that someday we will be singing or preaching before great crowds. In fact, we have all swallowed the lie that, if we accept and praise God for lowly things, we are limiting His usefulness through us.

But Jesus didn’t say this. He said that if we are faithful in little, He will make us faithful in much, but He also told us that the greatest in the Kingdom will be the servant of all. I often wonder that when we get to heaven we will not be shocked to see that the preachers to thousands we lauded might have to sit lower at the table than the janitor or old granny who lived their total lives as a consecration to God.

Father, I offer up to You my whole body, soul and spirit. I need You to lead me and guide me in every moment. I want to live a life that is not only wise and efficient, but as a holy offering to You. I want You to be pleased, not only when I sit down to pray, but as I pray and meditate on You in everything I do. I need You today, Lord, in each millisecond. May my whole being praise You—even when I am imperfect and come short. You are so great, I can rest and trust that You can even work my mistakes into blessings. Thank You for Your love and acceptance. How could I ever keep from loving someone so wonderful as You?

By Jesus, the Most Wonderful,

Amen.

For such a time as this

A Real Woman’s work is not easy, it is the stuff of heroic legend.

Any unremarkable man can use his life resources to make money and gain s*xual conquests (and there are many men of substance who are far more than this), but it takes a Real Woman to harness her life’s resources, combine them with another’s, and help form the stone of bedrock we call the “family”.

Only whiners spend precious time, money and energy bemoaning their inability to “have it all”. A Real Woman takes what she has and makes it better.

Whether she has been forced to work outside the home or she is privileged to stay home, she knows where her heart belongs. Her every thought and action is focused on the physical and emotional well-being of the ones she loves.

She won’t make a big noise or exert, assert, or dominate, but she will work quietly and tread softly in the strength of confidence which needs few words but is expressed in actions.

Over the years she has been mistaken to be useless fluff (or a slave), but just like the hardware holding together the huge beams of steel in a skyscraper, when her muted influence is gone, societies crumble to dust.

The list of these accomplished women is short, because most of their names are kept secret in Heaven, each letter written there through years of prayer and dependence on God’s able grace, but I am sure, if there is any tangible goodness or blessing any of us have received in this life, a Real Woman has touched it in some way.

You see, a Real Woman never loses sight of her eternal perspective only to grasp at the temporary circumstances of life. When it is time for the awards to be passed out, she will be content to sit back in the shadows and with deep satisfaction know what her years of sacrifice and hard work have won for others.

A Real Woman is not self-fulfilled, but selfless. She does not demand the seat of honor at the dinner table, she carries the serving tray.

She doesn't lose out--she gains it all.

Mommy's toolbox--Life with all little kids

Having fun with the children.

I have received a lot of questions of late as to the "how's" of living successfully with a lot of tiny children. 

I well remember those times. For instance, in 1990, I had five children, the oldest seven years old, and in 1994, I had eight children, the oldest 11.

These times were times of stripping--when I had nothing left of my own strength and resourcefulness. Very little of plans or schedules can come off smoothly with tiny children. They cry at the wrong times, and spill things, and need help in the potty room, and get into all sorts of things, and on and on and on....

But it was so good for me. I had to learn to make a list every day--but it wasn't a "to do"list, it was a prayer list. "Lord, with Your strength and by the might of Your Spirit, help me to accomplish what You want for me today, remind me of those things I might forget in my distractedness, lead me and guide me".

And I had to learn to enjoy my children for just who and where they were in their development. I had to learn to live life in the moment and forget the pressures of having a clean house, etc., as I surrendered these things up to God. Along the way He gave me some good ideas and helped me to fashion things to suit my situation.

Not all of these things will apply, but they might help someone in one area or another who is struggling:

• I practiced "The Herding Principle"--I kept the kids close to me wherever I was during the day. This kept me connected to them, and disciplined me to keep my focus on them and not to become caught up into "projects", etc. In giving my attention to them, they acted better because they didn't have to act up to get that attention.

• I cleaned the living room and upstairs in the morning, then shut off that part of the house for the remainder of the day--the children were not allowed to go into every room and make messes everywhere--just where we were together. This did so much for my own state of mind, as I love order and cleanliness, and even if the rest of the house was disheveled, and the children were all cranky, I could look at my neat living room and sigh a sigh of relief!

• I cleaned the kitchen every night before I went to bed so that I awoke to a clean kitchen every morning--what a boost!

• I kept our breakfasts simple--two choices of breakfast we alternated on every morning. I also stayed away from breakfast cereals which would cause us to feel bad a few hours later--the only cereals which seem OK are home made granola, grape nuts, and whole wheat biscuits. When my children were little I was able to buy Jiffy bran muffin mix ( I can't seem to find it anymore) and we would have that with orange slices every day. I also kept our lunches easy--PB J's with Ramen soup or kidney beans and brown rice. Dinner was a little more substantial--but Daddy is a simple eater, so dinner was never extravagant, either. The children were well satisfied with simple things and never complained (and I wouldn't have allowed them to). Snacks were graham crackers or fruit.

• I limited my going out--once-a-month grocery shopping, errands only on one day a week, no gallivanting around with friends.

• I limited my time on the phone (no Internet back then!). I needed some adult conversation, and so I did not eliminate it altogether, but whenever I got on the phone, things would fall apart. The Internet is the same way--it is a good tool for the mother at home, but it must be kept in perspective and used sparingly!

• Toys--these were kept either in one bedroom or in a room set apart for them. They were not allowed out in the general living areas to make a continual messy eyesore of the house. One thing I could have done better, which I do now, is to keep special toys in a cupboard for those times when I have to do something and the little ones need to be kept busy. I have found Melissa and Doug toys at Ross' Dress for Less and only take them out when I need them--lace up toys, wooden puzzles, etc. They are always put back neatly and saved for the next session.

• Learning time--I learned from a friend to keep Tupperware in a bottom cupboard in the kitchen for young "explorers" to pull out and play with. Giving little children their own "school books" also helps. Reading the tiniest ones a story before starting with the older ones gives them the attention they need so that they can play quietly with the feeling Mommy has connected with them. I also have learned not to begin formal learning too soon--I have learned to wait until the oldest child is truly ready, etc.

• A safe place to play outside is also quite helpful. Having a fenced yard with a swing or two and a place to dig will give a child hours of fun, safe, healthy play and give Mom a chance to vacuum, wash dishes, pay bills, etc. in peace.

• I practiced a daily "quiet time"--time for me to read the Word and get my batteries charged up, time for me to rest and catch up on my sleep so that I was refreshed when Daddy got home. I had to be creative in enforcing this at times--I can remember lying on the floor in the room of reluctant nappers with an implement of correction in one hand, a baby to the breast, and my open Bible in the other as I attempted to train some children, nurse and read the Word at the same time!

• I did not allow myself to use the TV, video games, etc. as my babysitters. I felt as though these strategies would later backfire on me and give me children who were damaged and unruly. I was willing to go through a little inconvenience in the short-term to reap a greater reward of children with better attention spans who were not conditioned to expect constant outside stimulation.

• I practiced enjoying my children and appreciating them. I would not allow myself "gripe times"--and I did not hang around women who encouraged negative talk concerning children. I had fun and got on their level. I practiced thankfulness instead of self-pity.

• I acted cheerful, even if I didn't feel cheerful. It won't seem fun at first, but you might be surprised at how your act will turn into reality!

• I learned not to take the annoyances of life out on my children--be steady on the outside no matter what was going on on the inside. Our mood affects the atmosphere of our home.

• Be silly, act goofy and laugh at the absurdities of life. Enjoy the cuteness of childhood to its fullest!

• I had to remember that my home is always a work in progress--especially when I am decluttering, something else is being neglected. I don't stress over it--but lay even this at the foot of the cross and learn to embrace it and live with it.

• A home is there to serve the people, not the other way around, but also if the people do not learn to keep the home, it will cease to be able to serve the people--I keep this in mind as I have learned to trust God to help me prioritize my day.

Timothy, Grace and Nicole, together.

And these days do not last forever. My children have all grown older, and each in turn blessed me in many ways as I saw them blossom and become great helpers to me--cleaning, fixing things, making meals, doing the wash, being watchers of the other little ones as they came along. The underlying principles I learned early on still help as my life has broadened and become busy in other ways.

 

God never ignores us when we cry out to Him for help, and He loves it when we lean on Him completely--it just takes complete trust in His care and belief He has our best at heart.

Praying you are blessed today!