Mommy's toolbox--order

I do not believe one can live well in chaos.

I am always fascinated with the science of the universe. It is a wonder to me as we discover even what we thought to be randomness has order to it--especially as we have created supercomputers which can calculate unanswered mathematical conundrums.

The Creator of the universe is an obvious lover of order. Even the way twigs on a tree arrange leaves has a mathematical symmetry--try looking up Fibonacci numbers.

And since we are made in His image, we are also creatures of order. Even a person whose abode seems to be in perpetual mess breathes a refreshed sigh when entering a clean, neat hotel room. Those of us who have trouble keeping a tidy home tend to stay away from it--anywhere else--to escape the stress of living in mess and chaos daily.

Of course, anytime you have a group of people living together, things can become chaotic pretty quickly. Just imagine having 12 coats, 24 shoes, 12 pairs of underwear, 24 socks, 36 meal portions, and on and on to take care of every day. Then there are the interruptions of life such as dental appointments, teaching a young person how to drive, paying bills and getting things repaired, shopping for clothes and food, and you have a wonderful mix of anything and everything that can happen everyday.

Although I am flexible to a point, I make it part of my job to organize and keep things orderly. I have to know where my toothbrush and mascara are, as well as the baby's t-shirts and Daddy's workpants. Knowing how many pounds of rice and beans to buy each month keeps me from buying too much or too little, and helps me budget in all sorts of other delicious and nutritious things to eat.

I have learned to practice some very basic things:

• I never awake without talking to God--He is the foundation for any order at any time!
• I practice thankfulness--even for life's little anoyances
• I work in blocks of time each day and have an order to the things we do
• I give my children specific expectations
  
• I INSPECT my children's work!
• I expect the little children to help instead of milling around and creating messes and distractions
• My kitchen is kept clean all day--we clean as we go and I keep the counters and sink clean
• Paper trash is dealt with as it comes in--I throw away the trash instantly and have a filing/dealing time for other business once a day
• My washer and dryer work every day, and laundry is folded and put away every morning
• I take the time to teach my children methods of cleaning so that they will not walk around in confusion
• I have specific bins/baskets for things like shoes, socks, hats, gloves, brushes so that if there is any doubt, these things have a place
• We practice APFE AEIP--A Place For Everything And Everything In Its Place
• Our bathrooms are cleaned and stocked daily
• We use teams of older and younger children to encourage each other and keep each other on track
• We have a "track system" of jobs for each team to do that changes daily so that people don't get too comfortable in any chore and begin to shave off corners--keeps them so busy!
• We have times of total creativity when we don't worry about making a mess--since we know we will clean it up again in short order
• We give loads of recognition and praise for jobs well done
• We correct for laziness and disrespect of the house, either through neglect or destructiveness
• We work alongside our children
• We have meetings and gather input on problem areas while instructing our children about good work ethics, thoughtfulness of others, etc.
• We have a household quiet time daily
• We limit loud music, don't play video games, and don't watch TV except Christian family-friendly DVD's with Daddy at specific times
• Our outside activities are nil to none except the fun things we do as a family (with our grown children and their beaus and spouses, things are already pretty full!)
• We don't leave the house without it being clean, this way when we return weary from our activities, we don't have double-duty
• We declutter on a regular basis--clothes, shoes, food, toys, everything

And at the end of the day, when everyone is snug in bed, and there are still a few toys on the floor or a stray shoe in the hallway, I do not stress, because I know we live in a world destined to disorder, but we have fought the valiant fight all day, and a few odds and ends are nothing compared to what it could look like...

Praise God!

Bible time--stillness

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me. The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands. Psalm138:7-8

The Lord is perfecting the things that will potentially cause me trouble. He is working behind the scenes to bless me. I don’t have to “fix” things, He will do it.

Meanwhile, I need to practice “being”.

Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the LORD. Psalm 4:4-5

Stillness is not very gratifying. You can’t run from your fears by furiously pushing them out of your mind through plans and activities. You have to silence the drowning noise of media and the world. You cannot impress your friends and your enemies with your “progress”. It can be nothing more than you and God, sitting and “being” together, in a casual conversation about very little that could be considered “productive”.

The fruit God desires is character. It is being right even more than it is doing right; the doing will follow the being…We need to understand that no amount of preaching, praying or singing will do instead of being gentle, meek, long-suffering, and good. (Hannah Whitall-Smith)
I must live this life in continual death, that is, the rest that comes from a lack of striving—in the rest of someone that is up and serving at the same time. I believe that it is possible to be both doing and resting at the same time. But I also believe that some of the greatest of my “doings” have not been fruitful or life-rendering, but malevolent and destructive.

Pregnancy helps me to rest. From the outside, it seems as though I am doing nothing, yet my body is using all of its reserve strength to enable the knitting together of little bones and flesh. I don’t mind being tired and just sitting, because I know that I am being productive in my inactivity.

It is when I am not pregnant and am quite physically capable that I lose perspective and get too busy taking care of myself and everyone else. But then the baby helps me to remember again what it means just to sit and enjoy the moment. When I take long moments to stare at her as she goes about the work of exploring her world, I can think of nothing else but the delight of who she is. My worries and concerns vanish at that point and I can actually rest, not just in my body, but in my spirit.

Father, I want to rest today—even when I am vacuuming or folding clothes or running to the store. I want to be available for You to work Your fruit in me, when I am confronted with grumpiness or the frustration of people and things that don’t want to cooperate with my plans. I am so thankful that You want to spend time with me today, and I greatly desire to spend time with You. My times are in Your hands.

In the name of Jesus,

Amen.

Bible time--prophetic parenting

So I answered them and said to them, “ The God of heaven Himself will prosper us; therefore we His servants will arise and build, but you have no heritage or right or memorial in Jerusalem.” (Nehemiah 2:20)

We are not just floor-mopping, dish-washing, diaper-changing slaves. We are wall-builders.

Like Nehemiah, we have been alerted to the fallout from years of enslavement to ideas like evolution, feminism and the like. The gaps left in the wall by all of these attacks have left us with wounds, the wounds of childhoods spent drifting in meaninglessness, with mothers too busy to pay attention and fathers that lived somewhere else.

We were taught to question, and we know what it is like to live without any foundation. Our hearts were broken, and when we held our own children in our arms, we knew that it all had to stop; God had to have a better plan. Just as Nehemiah had the courage to begin to rebuild the wall, we struck out in faith and took wobbly steps towards the wholeness that comes from obedience to God’s Word.

We eschewed the modern ideas that left us empty and vulnerable, and we took on precepts that give life:

--God as Creator, the giver of life that we should respect life and rejoice in conception and birth of children: And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. (Genesis 1:27-28)

--Our place in God’s plan; being equal to man, but being subject to him:

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. (1Peter 3:1-6)

--That being a “homebody” is not just a waste of time, but a vital ministry, keeping the Gospel of Jesus Christ from being blasphemed:

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

4That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

5To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. (Titus 2:3-5)

So we have lived and built. But it has not been easy. Just as Nehemiah faced opposition, we also have our own “Sanballats”. Even in our own churches, there are those that stand against us, who pronounce doom over us, and who plant seeds of discouragement. We see it on the news, and we read it on the faces of the magazines at the check-out of the grocery store.

The truth is that the devil has a plan, a hideous plan, to destroy the very rock and foundation of God’s church; the family. We may have been insignificant Christians, but the day we decided to “set our faces like flint” and forge ahead to soldier in the fight for our marriages and our children, we became a threat to the kingdom of darkness.

Depression, loneliness, and fear are the weapons the enemy wields. I know from experience just how heavy the burden can be. I understand just what it means to be completely demoralized and hopeless.

I have learned that we need to be like the builders of the wall of Jerusalem; working while ready with weapons.

And our weapons are not worldly, but Heavenly powerful. They are as follows:

The Word of God

Thankfulness

Praise

Prayer

Singing

If we want to fight effectively, we must be in the Word day and night. Only the Word of God can change our old patterns of thinking. It is cleansing and refreshing.

Being thankful keeps us from being darkened in our minds. There is nothing as hateful as being in the presence of someone who sees everything as being half-empty. And be ye thankful is a commandment that we must take seriously; even for bad things, trusting that God will turn them into good, according to Romans 8:28.

Praising and magnifying the Lord is the way we must live. There are too many voices that tell us that God is small, irrelevant or non-existent. When we adore and magnify the Lord, all those other voices are silenced and great courage rises up in our hearts. We are obeying the MOST HIGH! Once praise in practiced, it is like we become energized with a bolt of lightening so that everything we do becomes lighter and we experience true joy.

We must learn to pray, and often. This prayer is the type that your whole life is a communion and conversation with the Holy Spirit. Wonder what to do about a disciplinary problem? Pray. Wonder how to stretch the budget? Pray. Wonder how to keep from blowing your top with your husband? Pray. And pray expectantly—He loves to answer these prayers for us.

Lastly, singing is something that will boost yourself and your whole household. This is something mankind has done from the beginning. When we sing, we engage our whole being, and we cause our minds and emotions to be engaged in agreement to the new spirit God has created within us. I have found scripture songs to be the most effective in giving me strength, direction and courage throughout the day. I have read accounts of saints that were raised by Godly mothers who had this practice of singing, and this is one of their fondest memories.

Father, you know that I am weak, and you know that I cannot do this work without You today. Like King David, help me to encourage myself through Your word and sing songs to You in praise and thanksgiving. May it not only lighten my heart, but the hearts of my husband and children. There is so much heaviness and so many attacks; be our refuge and strong tower today as we bless Your name.

In the name of Your precious Son, Jesus.

Amen

The "hot seat"

When it seems as though our family feels a little “disjointed”, or when we find ourselves correcting more than encouraging or enjoying our children, the Lord leads my husband to have a “hot seat” time.

Last night was one of these sessions.

Each child in turn was put in my rocker as Daddy and I took turns ministering. First, Daddy looked deeply into the child’s eyes, spoke words of affirmation and encouragement, then prayed over him/her. Then it was my time. We started with the youngest, then moved to the oldest. Note: we do not use this as a lecture/counseling/correction time—only positive comments/prayers are offered.

After every child present had been blessed, Daddy and I sat on the ground holding hands, and each child in turn was given the opportunity to speak positive things over us and pray.

It was such a blessed time—can anyone say “positive vibes”?

Seriously, it gave everyone an opportunity to express love and appreciation, sometimes things that may have never been spoken out loud but desperately needed to be expressed came out, and there was emotion and a deep sense of God’s Holy Spirit in that room.

At other times each sibling in turn has spoken over and prayed for each other—this has also been a great way to break through some crusty personality conflicts where resentment or misunderstandings had become roadblocks.

It takes emotional energy for such a session, and it may seem at first as though it will be tough, but it is such a wonderful way to get back on track with each other—it makes you breathe a sigh of great relief and puts you at peace.

If you have an hour or two in your schedule this week, give it a try. I guarantee a blessing will result!

Bible time--navel gazing

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. John16:33

Sometimes we get this false idea that morbid sadness is equal to holiness. We’ve somehow got to be searching the inner darkness in order to be godly. We are like our own inquisitors, digging into the dirt of our hearts, ready to torture ourselves to weed out our heresies.

When I go through periods like this, it is usually because the devil has noticed that I have come up short in some way, and he knows how to twist my desire to become closer to the image of Jesus with my ultra-sensitive ego. The results are deadly.

I walk around hating myself while trying to be extra-loving to those around me. I give from a dry well, with nothing in the bottom but the pebbles of some fleshly emotions. I am gazing so far into my own navel that I almost turn inside-out. The word “miserable” does not even come close to describing my state of being.

When I get in the muligrubbies of myself, it helps to read these words:

“Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith.” This is simply an exhortation to the Corinthians, who were in a sadly backsliding condition, to settle definitely whether they were still believers or not. “Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith.” It does not say examine whether you are sufficiently earnest, or whether you have the right feelings, or whether your motives are pure, but simply and only, whether you are “in the faith.” In short, do you believe in Christ or do you not? A simple question that required only a simple, straightforward answer, Yes or No. This is what it meant for the Corinthians then, and it is what it means for us now. (Hannah Whitall-Smith).

And in the word:

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. Hebrews 12:1-3

When we come as babes in Christ why are we so elated? Is it because God has finally recognized our abilities to be holy?—How ludicrous! We are filled with joy because of the great weight of our sin and inability to become holy. It is called being “born again” because we are like fresh little babies, clean and sweet-smelling and perfect for the first time.

How does it happen that we get deceived into thinking that it then becomes our responsibility to try and become holy in our own strength? There is a great deception in the religious-type of living, where we are constantly trying to be good enough for God; we end up becoming centered on ourselves. We are so intent on examining ourselves that we cannot look at Jesus. Of course we are ugly and fleshy—it has never been about our abilities!

Fenelon says: “When we suffer aridity and desolation with equanimity, we testify our love to God; but when He visits us with the sweetness of his presence, He testifies his love to us,” and, “How rare is it to behold a soul in an absolute abandonment of selfish interests, that it may devote itself to the interests of God!”

The question is, who will we look at? If we look at ourselves, we lose our Christ-consciousness, and if we look at Christ, we lose our self-consciousness.

I have honestly become such a confused person that I get self-conscious about being self-conscious, and so I continue to be wrapped up in the whole process. I hear myself crying out the lament of the Apostle Paul, “O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?”

The only answer I have found is in praise and thanksgiving. Whenever I am tempted to once again look inward, either for good or for bad, I begin to thank God and praise Him for anything from the blue of the sky to His salvation of mankind, and I am instantly released!

Father, Thank You for Your kindness to me today. The sunshine testifies to me of Your unfailing love. Thank You for giving me the opportunity of living another day. Thank You for my husband, for my children, for breakfast and for the ability and desire to know You. Thank You that I have already made mistakes today, and that I will probably make many more. Help me to rest in the provision of Your holiness, righteousness, and subsequent peace and relaxation deep in my soul. I praise You for today and wait expectantly to see You work marvelous miracles and signs all around me.

I love You, Jesus,

Amen.

A day in the life

I’m taking care of loose ends today; paying bills and fielding business calls. It is funny how little time I have for these kind of things, considering all of the mothering I need to do daily, but they still must be done…sigh…

============================================

All the names for Patience with a “P”:

Patience

Precious

Pleasant

Peaches

Princess

Piglet (she’s so chubby and pink and cute!)

I can’t help it, I guess, but I love celebrating her, I love her "baby-ness", her soft hair and skin, the way she complains instead of crying. Every life is so wonderful, and babies give us more reasons not to be selfish, grumpy, frustrated, dark…

My husband and I, both realized the other day the names of our children each begin with a different letter of the alphabet except for Leah and Lorilee.

============================================

Ryan is making breakfast for us today—eggs and toast—and I can tell he is also making his famed iced herb tea. He has a special knack for getting it to taste just right. Iced tea is quite cheap compared to juice and the sugar we use is controlled and of a healthier type than found in prepared beverages or drink mixes, yet every bit as flavorful!

By the by, eggs are comparatively cheap right now—they are a wonderful source of protein and contain iron, etc. Try and incorporate them into your menu for inexpensive nutrition. This month we are making egg frittatas for lunch once a week with home made bread or cornbread. Even for a family of our size of 12 at home, this means a whole meal for under $5! Other egg recipes I can think of are Egg Fu Young and quiche.

Of course soups and home made bread are so nutritious, delicious and frugal, and baking in the colder months fills both stomachs and hearts!

============================================

Yesterday we switched our summer clothes for our winter clothes. I was hoping to do it quickly, but it ended up taking five hours! The little girls squealed with delight at all of the “new” things they had to wear, although we were handing down as we were sorting and pitching items too worn to keep. We need to buy shirts for the 13 yo boy, and skirts and shirts for the 9 yo and 11 yo girls, and the toddler needs a new pair of shoes, but other than that we are quite blessed (except for a few more pairs of tights to wear under dresses and skirts).

I have been able to purchase enough plastic buckets over time to hold most of our out-of-season clothing, which is a great blessing. I just label each one with some masking tape so that we know where things are. Keeping the seasons separate has helped simplify our closets and dressers and made for much less clutter and waste.

=============================================

Enoch walked with God and was not—almost as though he was so in step with God he was absorbed into the Great Loving Eternity. I have always been jealous of this—if that is the right word.

I know of what I am made, but I also know how desperately I need a Friend. And what is the definition of friendship? Isn’t it also companionship, closeness, having a confidant? God says we will find Him if we seek Him, so I seek Him by being honestly open and “friendly”—He is knocking at my door, so I am warmly inviting Him in, minute by minute sharing my thoughts, the good, the bad and the ugly. And I listen, because friends listen and care for each other’s needs, and therefore I care for His needs as He cares for mine.

In all my blundering activity, there is little efficiency until I find my rest in Him. 

Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it. For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it.

For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.

For he spake in a certain place of the seventh day on this wise, And God did rest the seventh day from all his works.  

And in this place again, If they shall enter into my rest. Seeing therefore it remaineth that some must enter therein, and they to whom it was first preached entered not in because of unbelief:

Again, he limiteth a certain day, saying in David, To day, after so long a time; as it is said, To day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts.

For if Jesus had given them rest, then would he not afterward have spoken of another day. There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God. For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his. Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief. (Hebrew 4:1-11)

Praying you can walk with Him until you are swallowed up!

Sherry

Bible time--joy in tragedy

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. (James 1:2-8)

Of all the trials that can come into one’s life, those that touch human relationships are the hardest for me. I can just about handle anything else with little or no concern. I can see God in almost any tragedy, but when someone is willfully foolish or belligerently cruel, I cannot stand it.

I have watched enough television shows to know that you’re supposed to have a nice little talk with the individual and that everything works out within the next half hour—but real life does not resemble TV.

I have also had enough personal experience to know that all of my human effort will not make even the slightest scratch on the hard shell of a person who refuses to listen. I am not always the best messenger, either. Who wants to listen to the shrieking lectures of a “self-righteous vigilante”?

I have a great fear that little incidences of folly can connect together to create a composition that is ugly and evil. I believe that God has given me the directive that He does not want the painting of the lives in my home to be blackened by darkness.

Recently things “blew up” at my house. I was left without a clue as to what to do. It was one of those situations that made me feel as though I could do something, but it would have only made things more of a mess. So, I prayed. In the midst of my fear and confusion, the Holy Spirit gave me hope. I could thank God for the situation because, as it has always happened in the past, God will be using this for good.

I cannot tell you how many other times in my life my wonderful Father has taken hopeless situations and worked them out for the better. If I had had my way and intervened, things would have seemed better for a short while, but I would not have been able to sustain any sort of peace. The underlying problems would have resurfaced, and it would have been worse in the end.

God told me that He is taking a time to expose things that are hidden so that they may be dealt with, and I need to just “hang in there” and let Him do the work. It is like treating an infection—it must be exposed to air and light so that the bacteria will not have a comfortable place to live. This gives me great comfort and peace.

It’s easy to count it all joy when I know God is working it for the good of my entire home. It's my mistake when I miss out on the intent of His heart, when I think He is any less that pure love; the love He describes for me in 1 Corinthians 13.

Thank You, Lord, for being the perfect example of love. Thank You that You are always looking out for our best. Thank You for mistakes made that reveal the intents of our hearts. Thank You for the Word that reveals us further. You are so merciful not to leave us in our fallen state, but to use the blood of Jesus to continually cleanse us, inside and out. I’m so glad that Your ways are not my ways, and that I don’t have to come up with all of the solutions. I love it that You are my friend, and that You count me as Your friend and let me in on what You are doing from time to time. What a precious blessing!

I love You!

Thanks to Jesus!

Amen

Mamma Cow

Miss Patience is over 3 months old now--it is already going by so fast! We are enjoying watching her discover how to use her hands and how to communicate with her when she has a sort of grumbling comment on life. She is such a jolly little creature!

And I love watching the little rolls of fat appear all over her with the satisfaction that these came about with hours and hours of nursing.

Nursing takes time. Nursing means eating more. Nursing means I have to postpone certain things when a little person is hungry--especially since I nurse on demand.

But it is worth it. And I have learned over many years how to maximize my nursing times.

For one thing, I can sit and gaze into my baby's eyes and communicate with sound and touch just how much she means to me. This is precious time spent.

And then there is also time for an older sibling--some heart-to-heart time when I am able to concentrate and listen. I sometimes read a library book aloud to my preschooolers, or a novel aloud to all of the children.

And then there is also time for some personal reading--how much time could I spend reading if I didn't have to nurse? And I choose books that will edify and bless me and my family. I have on my current list books by Elizabeth George (A Woman After God's Heart, A Mother After God's Heart), The Supermarket Handbook, The Holy Word of God, etc.

I also use this time to plan and prepare. I have my Commonplace Book, pens, sticky notes, etc. at the ready and sit and write out to-do's, menus and other plans. I even write out outlines for posts here.

I suppose the father of the Gilbraith family (Cheaper by the Dozen) would call nursing "unavoidable delay"--but God has helped me to turn it into the most profitable time of my day--and with His help I am able to live life and enjoy it too!