Weakness

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

When a jumbo jet is empty, it takes a huge hose from some colossal underground tank and hours to fill. Today I feel like that thirsty engine. I woke up without any feelings of wonder, without a sense that to day would be filled with hope or joy. Fear wanted to be my companion.

Where there is fear, there are also so many other horrid things. Anger and depression sprout and flourish when I succumb to the taunts of the enemy, doubting the help of God. My first reaction is to take situations “by the horns” and wrestle them down with my own strength. The results are not always disastrous, but they leave me cold and empty. When I am capable, I write the Holy Spirit right out of my script.

If it were my goal to keep everything in check and live a problem-free life, I would never have surrendered to have so many children. Children create messes and problems. They are costly in time and emotional energy.

Today I am too weak to face all of that. David had many days like this. He was a king, and dealt with people and situations far beyond his capability.

When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday.
Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.
My God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar. Psalm 42:4-6

Hannah Whitall Smith says:

The law of the spiritual life is that divine strength will be made perfect in human weakness. Our part is to supply the weakness; God’s part is to supply the strength. We are, however, continually trying to usurp God’s part and to supply the strength ourselves. Because we cannot do this, we are plunged into depths of discouragement. We think that in order to work effectively for the Lord, we ought to feel strong in ourselves, and when instead we find ourselves feeling weak we are in despair. But the Bible teaches us that, if we only knew it, our weakness is in reality our strength.

And what a strength my God is! Psalm 34 says, “O magnify the Lord with me”. This world is constantly telling me that God is little, or so far away that I can barely see Him. But He is great and mighty, and His help is always at hand. He is a refuge and a strong tower, and He lives to save us, both from ourselves and the devices of others. Romans 8:28 tells me that, no matter what, He will work it all for good. He is not limited like me, He can take even my mistakes and use them for His glory, and to bring myself and others closer to Him.

I thank You, Lord, that today I am weak. I need You so desperately. I do not believe the lies that You don’t want to help me. I believe that Your mighty hand will lift me up today. I ask for Your peace, and Your provision. Let me dwell in Your praise, and live in constant thankfulness. Let this morning be filled with Your praises, and let us all bow down to worship You in all we do. Dwell with us and dispel any chaos or confusion. May Your order reign, and may You route the enemies that are attempting to discourage us.

In the name of Your precious son, Jesus,

Amen.

Psalm 18

I will love thee, O LORD, my strength.
The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.
I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.
The sorrows of death compassed me, and the floods of ungodly men made me afraid.
The sorrows of hell compassed me about: the snares of death prevented me.
In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.
Then the earth shook and trembled; the foundations also of the hills moved and were shaken, because he was wroth.
There went up a smoke out of his nostrils, and fire out of his mouth devoured: coals were kindled by it.
He bowed the heavens also, and came down: and darkness was under his feet.
And he rode upon a cherub, and did fly: yea, he did fly upon the wings of the wind.
He made darkness his secret place; his pavilion round about him were dark waters and thick clouds of the skies.
At the brightness that was before him his thick clouds passed, hail stones and coals of fire.
The LORD also thundered in the heavens, and the Highest gave his voice; hail stones and coals of fire.
Yea, he sent out his arrows, and scattered them; and he shot out lightnings, and discomfited them.
Then the channels of waters were seen, and the foundations of the world were discovered at thy rebuke, O LORD, at the blast of the breath of thy nostrils.
He sent from above, he took me, he drew me out of many waters.
He delivered me from my strong enemy, and from them which hated me: for they were too strong for me.
They prevented me in the day of my calamity: but the LORD was my stay.
He brought me forth also into a large place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me.
The LORD rewarded me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands hath he recompensed me.
For I have kept the ways of the LORD, and have not wickedly departed from my God.
For all his judgments were before me, and I did not put away his statutes from me.
I was also upright before him, and I kept myself from mine iniquity.
Therefore hath the LORD recompensed me according to my righteousness, according to the cleanness of my hands in his eyesight.
With the merciful thou wilt shew thyself merciful; with an upright man thou wilt shew thyself upright;
With the pure thou wilt shew thyself pure; and with the froward thou wilt shew thyself froward.
For thou wilt save the afflicted people; but wilt bring down high looks.
For thou wilt light my candle: the LORD my God will enlighten my darkness.
For by thee I have run through a troop; and by my God have I leaped over a wall.
As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.
For who is God save the LORD? or who is a rock save our God?
It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect.
He maketh my feet like hinds' feet, and setteth me upon my high places.
He teacheth my hands to war, so that a bow of steel is broken by mine arms.
Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great.
Thou hast enlarged my steps under me, that my feet did not slip.
I have pursued mine enemies, and overtaken them: neither did I turn again till they were consumed.
I have wounded them that they were not able to rise: they are fallen under my feet.
For thou hast girded me with strength unto the battle: thou hast subdued under me those that rose up against me.
Thou hast also given me the necks of mine enemies; that I might destroy them that hate me.
They cried, but there was none to save them: even unto the LORD, but he answered them not.
Then did I beat them small as the dust before the wind: I did cast them out as the dirt in the streets.
Thou hast delivered me from the strivings of the people; and thou hast made me the head of the heathen: a people whom I have not known shall serve me.
As soon as they hear of me, they shall obey me: the strangers shall submit themselves unto me.
The strangers shall fade away, and be afraid out of their close places.
The LORD liveth; and blessed be my rock; and let the God of my salvation be exalted.
It is God that avengeth me, and subdueth the people under me.
He delivereth me from mine enemies: yea, thou liftest me up above those that rise up against me: thou hast delivered me from the violent man.
Therefore will I give thanks unto thee, O LORD, among the heathen, and sing praises unto thy name.
Great deliverance giveth he to his king; and sheweth mercy to his anointed, to David, and to his seed for evermore.

The cart before the horse

Do you ever just get really weary of wondering what everyone else thinks about what you are doing? Do you ever just want to throw the towel in because your family does not look “right” to others?

It helps to know that we only need look “right” to God—Jesus is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the Author and Finisher.

He is the One who has begun this work, He is its Originator, its Creative Expert, its Catalyst, Director and Refiner.

Lately this means we have a different sort of “curriculum”. Our days are all about how to run a “life”—how to conserve energy, clean a toilet, understand how food works and how to cut costs, how to iron clothes, etc.

Now I know we have been taught that these subjects should be relegated to the “home economics” category when we are trying to explain homeschooling to someone else, but I believe we have been conditioned to seeing our lives in an unnatural manner.

I love the enriching parts of education; the arts and sciences that enhance our lives. But every day living should be the focus of a good education, not erroneous information that is memorized and then forgotten.

John Taylor Gatto related how after speaking to a group of educated folks a young man asked him why, after years and years of formal education, was he never taught how to change a tire?

I remember well how my counselors in high school puffed me up—how I scored so high on my SAT’s I was told I could skip my freshman year—and yet when I moved out on my own I felt so inept! Dealing with a home, a husband and a new baby wanted to totally overwhelm me. I was like a rabbit, wanting to run at any noise or disturbance.

I was an educated ignoramus.

But my children are not going to be! They will know about how real life works, foremost! It is funny, but I have found that doing just such a thing causes all of the other educational disciplines to be worked in, like history (voting, citizenship, laws, etc.), science (electricity, bacteria, chemistry of baking, etc.), Music (creating an atmosphere, enjoying the Lord together as a family), art (setting a table, garnishing a meal, decorating a house), math (calculating how much money and paint we will need to recover the interior walls, how much rice for chicken teriyaki, doubling and quadrupling a recipe), reading and writing (researching how to build a shed including zoning laws, writing a convincing email or letter to a zoning official) and the list goes on and on.

If you are feeling stressed because of a messy, disorganized house, older children who bicker and fight, and younger children who scream and beg due to neglect, and it seems as if it is all due to your commitment to homeschooling, can I make a suggestion?

Take a few minutes and allow yourself to relax—it’s not supposed to be this hard, and if it is making you and your family miserable, it probably isn’t the right thing at the right time.

Change your focus, at least for a few weeks, and concentrate on all the areas of deficit. If it takes you an hour every day just to hunt up pencils for everyone, things are way out of focus. Clean up and organize. Build respect and discipline into your daily routine. Prayerfully format a plan for meals, laundry, etc. and work that plan until your house hums and purrs. Get your children intimately involved and trained to know what they should be doing and when.

Then throw in some basic reading, writing and math, but even these in small doses. All the while don’t forget the focus on making life hum and purr, and then add some extras that are simply creative and fun.

Don’t forget to consult with Daddy—he can see things you may miss and give you further insight and direction. I have benefitted greatly from the leadership of this great man in our lives.

And here’s just a little caution: don’t pattern your life after someone else’s. While you can glean some nifty ideas from what others are doing, don’t forget that your home and your life are totally unique, and that only the Holy Spirit has the right balance and plan for you and your family.

When you do things this way you will find the peace and purposefulness most only claim to enjoy.

A homely vision

Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. Proverbs 29:18

Folks don’t understand us. It’s not their fault; they just haven’t ever lived in our shoes. The truth is, about 20 years ago or so I would have been among the clueless when it comes to understanding how a “mega-family” operates. I still have times of wondering myself.

This ministry of having many children requires more than a portion of my life. It requires everything, heart and soul. Lately God has alerted me to the fact that our home has been missing a vital ingredient; vision.

I looked on the Internet and found a few good definitions of this word. The first was more material in nature,

A clear, detailed picture of what should be achieved.

This meaning encompasses a great part of what I need in my home. I need to have an idea of what needs to be accomplished daily in a physical sense, and I need to be able to communicate this idea to my children. For instance, if we need to be ready for a special activity, I can’t spring it on everyone at the last minute; this would be a logistical disaster! Just getting everyone dressed properly for the occasion, especially if it is even slightly formal, is a major project. I know that most folks have to think long and hard about the “perfect” outfit, and sometimes have to try two or three on before making a decision. Can you imagine 14 people having to find the right outfit, all at the same time? Or what about being in charge, not only of your own attire, but the clothes of at least 10 other people? This is why getting dressed encompasses, not only the clothes in our closets, but how well the laundry is kept up (it could be that someone’s special shirt or dress is at the bottom of the communal hamper, under the other 3 loads we built up since yesterday), what we will eat (we have to plan something simple so that cooking and cleanup don’t eat up 2 hours of our time), and how the rest of the house is kept up (such as where we put shoes and coats when we take them off so that we can find them again!).

So, for me, organizing my house is not just something I do because I am a “neat freak”. If I do not have a plan, or “vision”, my people perish! They don’t eat well, they don’t dress well, and they most certainly don’t feel well.

But this job is never done, because, “if there’s one thing you can count on, things are going to change”. This means that I must constantly be tweaking things to ensure that our lives are humming along like a well-oiled machine. Over the years I have instituted many plans, so much so that my husband is weary of hearing them. But we are all benefiting from the trial-and-error of my little experiments that turned into routines that help us live well together.

The truth is, the only good that remains is what God gives to me. This comes to the second definition of “vision” that I found,

A visible revelation from God, like a dream but usually experienced while the recipient is still awake.

Our home is more than a physical shell full of material goods and robot-like beings. Eternal spirits inhabit this space. They have thoughts and feelings, which end up affecting or being affected by the spiritual forces both in and around them.

The organizational vision must not exist for itself; it must be a backdrop to the more important work of the fulfillment of the ethereal ideal. This ideal cannot come from us as the parents; it must come from God Himself.

Yesterday was our anniversary. We have been married 27 years now, and looking over our lives we are so thankful for the ways He has moved. But what about the next 27? Where does God want us to go? What does He want us to be doing with our time each day? How could we best cooperate with the plans He has for us?

These are not questions we take lightly. We are not guaranteed to win the race just because we start out on a good footing. We must continue to be focused on our goal, while putting our best effort forward. We must “finish well”.

For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Galatians 6:8-9

So I have been petitioning Him for visions and revelations. This household is too big for me to handle organizationally, and it is definitely out of my league spiritually. My husband especially needs clarity in his spirit of the direction God wants us to go.

Father, I am out of ideas. I need the freshness of Your Spirit daily—our Helper. I need to have my mind “quickened” with understanding. I need the wisdom from above, which is “peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.” Oh, how I need this perfect wisdom flowing through my life today! If I were Solomon right now, and You were asking what was my heart’s desire, this is what I would ask for. We need not just “a” vision, but multiple visions daily. You are our only supply, and where else would we go? We wait expectantly on You,

For the glory of Your son, Jesus,

Amen.

Have you lost it?

"That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death." (Philippians 3:10)

If we believe that following Christ means that we can live without difficulties, we are believing a lie. He is not our “sugar daddy”. It doesn’t matter how many dollars we send to the television preacher or evangelist, we will still have to work hard and pay our bills on time.

If we truly live our lives pleasing to God, people will not like us. We cannot claim to belong to God and not live a cross-cultural life. To do anything less is to live a sensual existence that denies that life is in reality transitory.

I have rubbed shoulders with people who understood this first-hand. One gentleman in particular comes to mind. He was a teacher in a language school, and every time he opened his mouth it was evident that his teeth were extremely crooked. In a rare moment, he explained to us what had happened to him. It seems that he had been in a concentration camp in what is currently the Czech Republic twice; once under the Nazi’s, once under the communists. Although I do not know whether or not he was a Christian, he knew what it means to take a cross-cultural stand for freedom and not count one’s life as dear. But he dared to be cross- cultural and stand for freedom, the very things we take for granted every day. He didn’t receive medals or advancement for his sacrificial work for his countrymen, instead he received a shovel to his face, and afterwards no medical attention. He had been forced into exile, but in his heart the drum of truth continued to beat and he pleaded for his country with anyone who would listen.

Give me liberty or give me death!

In our country we do not face physical retribution for having unpopular ideas. We have been conditioned to believe that the goal of our entire lives is to make sure that people “like” us, or understand us, or that everyone should feel “comfortable” with their life choices. All it takes for us as the wimpy, spineless church we are is for someone to get their feathers ruffled, then we immediately back off and recant!

But truth is truth—and it is the only thing that can set us free. Half-truths are like eating potato chips; they taste great going down, but are passed out of our bodies without making any positive contribution whatsoever on our health and well-being.

We are soon to approach the end of the second century of this Satanic experiment called Compulsory Schooling. It is not, nor has it ever been, a godly attempt to educate children. From its very foundations it has been designed to destroy the influence of the Church and the Christian family.

"What the church has been for medieval man the public school must become for democratic and rational man. God will be replaced by the concept of the public good… The common schools…shall create a more far-seeing intelligence and a pure morality than has ever existed among communities of men."

--Horace Mann, founder of the compulsory schooling movement,

"The classroom must and will become an arena of conflict between the old and the new—the rotting corpse of Christianity, together with all its adjacent evils and misery, and the new faith of humanism."

--John Dunphy, in The Humanist

"The state is the order of liberty, and the school is the means whereby citizens are prepared for the good life. The state has become the saving institution, and the function of the school has been to proclaim a new gospel of salvation. Education in this era is a messianic and a utopian movement, a facet of the enlightenment hope of regenerating man in terms of the promises of science and the new social order to be a achieved in the state."

--R.J. Rushdoony in his book, The Messianic Character of American Education

It doesn’t matter that our children never witness a school shooting, or get tricked into taking drugs, or even emerge from high school as virgins. The damage has still been done. The evil is not in a certain class, or event, or book, it is embedded in the system. Every day that we submit our children and our families to that system, we are cooperating with the plans of the enemy. We are saying, "It doesn’t bother me, as long as it doesn’t bother me."

Obviously the schools are not Christian. Just as obviously they are not neutral.

The Scriptures say that the fear of the Lord is the chief art of knowledge; but the schools, by omitting all reference to God, give the pupils the notion that knowledge can be had apart from God. They teach in effect that God has no control of history, that there is no plan of events that God is working out, that God does not foreordain whatsoever come to pass…

"The big lie of the public schools is that the God of the Bible is irrelevant. The textbooks never mention Him. Everyone assumes that children do not need to know anything about God, God’s law and God’s Word in order to become educated people. This is Satan’s own lie."

--John Thoburn

But it should bother us. It should bother us because the choices we make about whom to marry, how many kids to have, where they will be educated, etc. are not just arbitrary. They are important, and they have consequences.

Children are not nuisances or economic drains, they are sacred trusts. They are created in the image of God, and thus require our respect and demand that we lose our lives for their sakes, just as if they were Jesus Himself.

My friend in Bulgaria understands this.

Oh, Sherry, what a nice article! Would you mind to pray for our family? To find way for us to homeschool here, in Bulgaria? To have at least one more of these precious gifts of God - you have 14 and 1 on the way :-)

Her testimony should shame us. She doesn’t feel judged or condemned when I write about the tremendous responsibility we have in training our children; she understands that responsibility and yearns to be able to take more responsibility for her children.

Dear Brothers and Sisters, are we so committed to our own convenience that we forget Whose we are? Have we been lulled to sleep, honestly believing that the world’s system will not affect our own children when they are subjugated to propaganda at earlier and earlier ages, for hours and weeks and months at a time?

There are some really nice people who are greatly deceived. They don’t ride brooms or wear pentagrams. But in all their sincerity, they believe evil, destructive things, and they whole-heartedly pass on these evil things to others. This is not a new thing. But today we try to psychoanalyze it all, to make it all fair and make sure that everyone feels “valued”.

Life is not therapeutic! The devil is real, and he doesn’t want us to make it. He uses unwitting people all of the time to attack us and discourage us and make us feel bad. The only place we should find solace is in The Rock, onto which we should fall and be broken.

WHEN WILL THE CHURCH IN AMERICA STAND UP?

So homeschooling is a little difficult, so it means that we must change our lifestyles, so it means that people will misunderstand us and we will face negative comments, etc.

SO WHAT?!!!

We need to grow backbones. We need to lose our lives.

A 56 pound laptop?

A few years back my kids came home early from their classes at a local community college. It seems there was a bomb scare and the school was shut down while a suspicious brief case with the numbers "9-1-1" showing on the combination lock was found abandoned in a hallway on the premises.

Upon further examination, it was discovered the case actually contained an antiquated laptop--nothing else.

But when the news media got hold of the story, things sounded very different. What struck me most about the articles and reports that came out was the weight of the case--supposedly it weighed 56 pounds!

What laptop ever conceived has weighed 56 pounds? More than likely, someone mentioned it may have weighed 5 to 6 pounds, but this is just one example of how the media can get a story all wrong, but still report here-say as fact in order to gain a greater audience.

I have always wanted to become a writer, and so I was told that I should go into journalism so that I could make a living at it. After dipping a toe or two into the water, I decided it was not for me--I just could not be that unethical and aggressive.

Journalists must vie for space and time. They must run to the be the first to get a story, and then be the best at trumping up a story into something fantastic that only resembles the truth in order to get recognition and gain clout. Editors and directors choose the more sensationalized versions of the truth in order to gain more readers/viewers.

And this is one reason why most of what we are fed in the media is only partially accurate.

The other reason is that there is an agenda to most news. Rush Limbaugh and the like are often found directly accusing the media of a bias, and the folks in the mainstream emphatically deny it--and I don't believe the media types are trying to deceive, I believe they themselves are deceived into believing their truth is the truth.

The truth most media foists onto the rest of us is truth that has been born from the labors of the universities of our nation; universities dedicated to inculcating a set of values that are decidedly humanistic and secular (some would say they are purposely socialistic and communistic).

And journalists of all ranks have been indoctrinated by their years spent, not only in the humanistic propaganda of a usual public school education, but of four or more years of a college education as well. Their view of life is very different from the view of wisdom described in the
Bible, but is instead built entirely from a subjective reality in which man is the center and originator of all things; that there is nothing higher on this earth to be attained to, no higher law or knowledge, etc.

And so they report and write for us according to a new, relative morality in which smoking is a great sin, "shacking up" is holy sacrament, divorce is a necessary stepping stone in life, and making money is good as long as it is done in politically correct ways and always redistributed "fairly".

In this new morality, health is a godly goal, and saving the planet is a cause carried on the lips of small children with missionary zeal. We may no longer sing carols of the Savior's birth in public, but we are encouraged to stand and proclaim our great love for Mother Nature and share testimonies of how much we have recycled over the last year.

But God knows all about this sort of thing, and He declares it all foolishness:

For it is written, I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and will bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent.

Where is the wise? where is the scribe? where is the disputer of this world? hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?

For after that in the wisdom of God the world by wisdom knew not God, it pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe. 1 Corinthians 1:19-21

In my humble opinion, not much I read or hear is to be trusted. I try and seek the truth in the middle of a whole lot of mess--I try and ask God what to see and believe in what I hear, and I try and keep in mind the lesson of the 56 pound laptop!

Happy anniversary!

Today is the celebration of a mighty miracle. After 2 generations of divorce and brokenness on both sides of our family, my husband and I are married 27 years today! On honor of this grand occasion, I would like to list 10 things I like about “us”:

1. I like it that we knelt down 27 years ago in a basement and dedicated our relationship to the Lord Jesus Christ.
2. I like it that, no matter how hard things have been, we never gave up on God’s promises in our marriage to each other.
3. I like it that we both love family and children.
4. I like the fact that my husband is still my best friend—and I couldn’t imagine life without being able to wake up at 3 AM and talk and talk until the sun comes up, then cuddle until it is time to get out of bed.
5. I like it that we have so much in common, that we think alike, as if we were “twins”.
6. I like it that I have a man in my life that keeps me stable, that leads with the kindness of a shepherd.
7. I like it that I have a man who is not afraid to do the hard work of a father; correcting and teaching and holding people accountable.
8. I like how my sweet husband energizes the whole house; how he can turn any occasion into a party just by his enthusiasm.
9. I like the way we pray and sing together, when no one else can hear us except the Master.
10. I like the way my husband, even after seeing my face every day for all these years, still wants to spend every waking minute he can spare with me, and I with him.

Where would I be without you, Sweetheart?

I love you and thank God for you,

Sherry

Two are better than one

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

While at the store the other day, I saw an old friend from high school. I barely recognized her at first; she shuffled her feet and stared distantly at the floor while it looked as though she were talking to herself. The years had not been kind to her, which showed on her face and body. I distinctly sensed a spirit of rejection as she passed by.

And no wonder. She had been the victim of some of the worst treachery and heartache that a woman could face. Her husband had had an adulterous affair and, when caught, gone to live with his mistress and insisted on having joint-custody of their children. And this man was a Christian and associate pastor of a church!

I don’t believe she recognized me, but my heart went out to her. I wanted to look into her eyes and tell her that Jesus loved her and I was always her friend. But I also had a sense that she would have been ashamed and embarrassed, so I let the opportunity slip by.

I needed that reminder. I needed to see just how blessed I was. There are days I get caught up a little in my own ungratefulness; actually believing the little aggravations of my life are worth complaining about. But when I saw my old friend and realized where I could be, I became humbled and thankful.

Our family is going through a time of testing when we are not sure of the next step. We are calling out and asking God for direction. The enemy is creeping in with questions that don’t need to be answered, but they whine in our heads like the breaks of an old car—“Will you make it?”, “Is there anyone to help?”.

Sometimes we are even tempted to snap at each other. I especially have the horrible habit of curling up into a little ball when I am threatened by life.

That’s when God wakes my husband and me up in the wee hours of the morning and causes us to face the issues and work things out. It seems that life is so busy for us during the day that we go through the motions of what we have to do without having the time to delve into the underlying recesses of who we are as a couple; as a “team”.

Last night was one of those times. My dear husband woke me and asked me questions that I didn’t want to answer when it was 2:30 a.m., but he asked anyway. I am glad he is so courageous. After we got the ball rolling, we began to enjoy ourselves. We cried, we laughed, and we ended up drifting off to sleep wrapped in each other’s arms. We reminded each other that we are courageous soldiers in a colossal war, and we comforted each other.

He told me that if it wasn’t for me he wouldn’t be worth anything, and I told him that if it wasn’t for him I would have died from the despair of loneliness. We need each other, every day, from morning ‘til night. While our hearts are fixed on our God, to worship Him and bless Him, He has given us each other as a picture of His care and provision.

When I met my man, I couldn’t eat, and the attachment was so strong it was like standing next to the edge of a voluminous waterfall and feeling the draft of air as the water plunged forth with great strength into the water below. I was drawn into it, and over it, and the plunge did me good. It stripped me and then it made me whole.

Father, You know that I haven’t been thankful, but fearful lately. When those questions where rolling around in my head, You knew it, and You answered me in a tangible way by using the closest relationship I have ever had on earth. Forgive me for taking this marriage, this love of my deepest soul, for granted. Thank You for revealing to me my great need to repent of being so “capable” and my need for the help and care of another human being. Thank You for the blessing of my husband, may I lean on him, and may he trust in me.

In the name of Your precious son, Jesus,

Amen

How I clean a bathroom

Isn't life full? Here I have been writing about all sorts of deep issues, and yet I am also posting about cleaning a bathroom.

If the world is coming to an end, and our country is under siege, why bother with a clean bathroom?

Because no matter what is going on in the wide, wide world, God has only given me my domain. I can make some calls and write some important things, which is very powerful, but beyond that, my main focus is right here, under my gables where the people I minister to live.

And these people need to use the bathroom. They need to feel as though the surfaces are clean, that they will have enough toilet paper, soap, shampoo and towels. They need to be able to wake up from a sleepy fog and see themselves in a mirror that is not covered with funk. They don't need to be greeted with an acrid smell when they open the door.

But where to start?

First, I start with the clutter. Most of us have enough personal hygiene and beauty products in our baths to stock a small store. We keep huge bottles with only little bits left in them, or those we have purchased that were quite expensive, so we don't want to throw them away, yet we don't like to use them. We line the shelves of the tub, the counter, the back of the toilet with all sorts of bottles of junk. Then we have bins and bags full of cosmetics--the half-chewed lipstick the toddler found in our purse, etc.

I try to keep two things in mind:

Simplicity and Diligence

I pair down what I use. Basic soap, shampoo, toothpaste, etc. Only one of each, and only the ones worth keeping. The others can go in the rubbish bin. I am ruthless about these things, because I love how much more life and "space" getting rid of things gives to me.

My daily makeup fits nicely into a little zippered pouch in my top drawer--one of each, with a small tube of moisturizer. I can take this little pouch with me anywhere, even on the road at a moment's notice.

And don't forget under the sink--this is where a lot of bad smells and nasty things can take over. I make an inspection of the pipes under there and wipe out the cabinet, if there is one.

The next step I take is to think of my bath as a series of surfaces. The shower stall, the tub, the toilet, the mirror, the sink and counter, the vanity, the shower curtain, the window and curtain, the floor--all of these are surfaces that need to be cleaned.

Since I am describing here a thorough cleaning, I will tell you that I wash the shower curtain and window curtains.

Then I begin in the shower/tub. first I will dust along the top of the tile or shower stall--amazing how much one will find there! I scrub the stall/tile. I check the surround of the tub for mildew, etc. and strip and repair caulking if necessary (this is a very simple process--takes a little effort, but it is worth it in the end). If I have hard water, I will purchase a cleanser with lye that will remove the stains--always with proper precautions, of course. I have even been known to use a pumice stone to remove scale where necessary (always be careful not to mix bleach with other cleaners).

I also take an abrasive cleanser (I use Barkeeper's Friend) and clean the tub and surround (if lye is not needed, or if I am just maintaining).

The outside of the tub is also important, as well as the caulking material where the tub meets the floor--especially to prevent water damage.

Then I move onto the sink area. I will clean out the medicine cabinet, getting out the rust, old toothpaste, etc. Then I will scrub around the faucet, even and especially in those little cracks and crannies. I love to spray all surfaces, then wait, in order to soften up the nasty grime so that it is more easily removed.

And here's my quick trick for the sink; if I am in a hurry and don't want to search all over for some abrasive cleaner, I just squeeze a bit of cheap toothpaste (we buy the dollar or less tube--whatever brand) on a rag and scrub all around, then rinse!

Mirrors can be a challenge. When I am doing a thorough cleaning, I like to use janitorial aerosal window cleaner, which works like a dream! But for everday cleaning the aerosal is pricey, so I use just vinegar in water--streakless and cheap. I look at the glass from different angles and with the lights off to make sure it is streak and fuzz-free.

I also keep under the sinks clean as well. I have cabinets, so I keep personal hygiene items, etc. in plastic bins that slide in and out. I try and not keep trash cans in the cabinets, as this becomes a huge problem when people don't empty the trash can or don't keep the trash in the receptacle. If people can see the trashcan, it is usually maintained better.

The toilet is not a big deal if it is maintained. I try and keep the rings and insides clean daily. The bottom outsides are also important--it is a gross job, but can't be skipped! Bleach spray around the base of the toilet takes care of the odor when new potty-trainers "miss". I also keep up on the hair, dust, etc. that accumulates all around and behind.

Bathroom floors and baseboards can get grimy--especially behind the door--so these are wiped and cleaned regularly.

The floors are the last surface to be scrubbed--ans this is best done on one's knees due to the type of grime that can accumulate.

After all is decluttered and cleaned, I make sure there are multiple rolls of toilet paper available (we buy the POM box at Sam's Club--good quality and very cheap), clean towels, shampoo (we use Suave in huge, refillable squirt dispensers), soap (I refill our soap dispensers with Pro Force dish liquid from Sam's Club), etc.

Then I stand back and enjoy the beauty of order--even if it may last only a few moments in a family like ours!

Ministry of reconciliation

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation. 2Corinthians 5:17-19


When I was a young Christian, I wanted to go into the “ministry”, but not the one that I saw in churches. I read books by Anne Kiemel-Anderson and Corrie ten Boom and was inspired to think of ministry as being everywhere, all of the time. I didn’t know how to go about it, and I was clumsy and incomplete, but I tried to emulate the lives that I so admired wherever I went.

Today I still try and minister when I am out. I have built relationships at banks and grocery stores where I simply talk God up and shower His love on people. I have such a great time doing this. God allows me to experience the fun of loving people that are lost and in darkness.

At home I live in a sort of dichotomy. On the one hand, I am supposed to drive foolishness out of the hearts of my children, but on the other hand I still have this job of ministering reconciliation to them.

I have to admit that some days I feel so overwhelmed by the correction side that I neglect the higher ministry. These children, like all of us, know already that they are condemned. In a Christian family where the Word of God is shared daily, how could they not know they don’t measure up?

But if I don’t take time to purposely convey their complete acceptance through Jesus, it can be missed. There are too many stories of children who grew up with Godly parents but felt under judgment and missed the joy of following Christ.

I have heard it said that, for every criticism, it takes 10 words of praise to balance it out. This goes for spouses, especially. When I take the time to make a big presentation on a behavior or attitude that I don’t particularly appreciate in my husband, I fail to realize that, even though I have moved on to other things in my own mind, I need to make 10 more presentations of just how wonderful he is before the love between us can flow freely.

When I was young I read a little devotional idea that sparked my interest. It used scripture to suggest that a Christian home should reflect heaven. I had never heard of such a thing before. My own home had been so demoralized that I never expected such a thing could exist. Ever since, I have longed for the manifestation of Christ in my own home.

This is why it is no great imposition for me to be willing to make great changes in my thinking or how I operate. I want Christ’s best here, and I want the Holy Spirit to feel at home. I want light and lots of love—beyond my own capacity and without being hampered by my own sinfulness or darkness.

Father, only You can do this great work through me. I invite You, Holy Spirit, to be our Guide and Companion today. Please alert me to times that I can minister reconciliation, and forgive me for neglecting this great ministry. I love You and want to please You in all I do today, even though You know that I am very incomplete, You complete me.

I love You Jesus,

Amen.

The herding principle

I once passed a park in a rural area and witnessed a fascinating display. A number of people had gathered to watch a sheep dog at work. With amazing speed and agility, this canine used everything within his power to move a number of sheep withersoever he wished. He was so good at his job that he caused the sheep to move as though they were one fluid entity.

And that is what I have learned to do as a mother of many children.

Many years ago, when I had small children with few old enough to help out much, I knew how crazy things could get. I had witnessed first-hand how allowing children to scatter and "express themselves" usually led to discord and disaster.

Of course this is obvious when out in public. Just one child left to himself can get into mischief, so a handful of children can become a noisome nuisance. I always kept my children together, close at my side, no matter where we were, whether at church, in the store, etc. If they started milling about, I gave them a place to sit, and if there was no place to sit, I gave them something concrete to stand against, such as a counter, a wall, grasping a cart or hanging onto my skirt.

But at home this is just as important. I try and act like the sheep dog and move my little flock fluidly through the day.

First of all, we have blocks of time for everything. Notice I did not mention the word "schedule"--I do not like to be a slave of time slots, although I do have goals of things that need to be done by a certain hour of the day.

Also, I have trained my children to "hear my voice". Just as the sheepdog expects the sheep to follow his cues, I make announcements as to what we are doing next--and it may change from day-to-day, but I expect that when these changes take place, everyone will adapt.

For instance, this morning I am having them do their personal hygiene before our morning meeting, yesterday we had our morning meeting first, the day before we started our chores and then broke for our morning meeting. It is all according to the needs of the day.

And this is how our day goes. I announce the next band of activities, and then have everyone flow in that vein. I don't announce we will spend time reading silently, then allow someone to wander off and scooter outside. Everyone is expected to participate in what we are doing at the time.

There are many benefits to this type of system. It keeps down on mess, since I can make sure everyone is cleaning up after an activity. It cuts down on confusion, since I am not trying to keep track of numerous activities at once. Waste is minimized because I am able to supervise more, and it is less noisy.

We own both the new and the older versions of the movie, "Yours, Mine and Ours". These movies attempt to portray what life is like in large families. The second film depicts two distinct types of parenting styles--one that is free-wheeling and driven by creativity and the moment, with disorganization and mess being a part of everyday life, and another that is orderly and clean with a military influence.

I was sure my children would favor the free-wheeling type of family life, but, to my great astonishment, they were disgusted by such "creativity". They loved the orderliness of the military family, and even told me we should strive to be more like them!

And this is coming from kids who love to create and draw, play music, etc.

Of course, within any system there should be time for individual expression, but without boundaries, things very easily turn into an ugly, dysfunctional monster. There is security in orderliness, in having 3 meals a day and routines, or in knowing where to find your socks in a hurry!

Over the years I have learned to listen to my stress level. If I find I am stressing and feeling pinched, it usually means I am trying to do too many things at once. I immediately stop everything and reassess, praying for wisdom, of course. Streamlining and simplifying are my best tools for a peaceful, Godly home.

Of course this means we can't do everything; we can't have all the "experiences" our little hearts may desire. But we can enjoy the few things we do to their fullest, and enjoy each other at the same time, instead of feeling fractured and lonely while pursuing 15 different self-interests.