It's a girl, and other news

We went for an ultrasound today--and the baby is wonderfully healthy, and I am also boringly without issues! The children were all believing it was a boy--but I had a sense that this was a girl, even though my husband had a dream it was a boy, etc.

I am looking forward to getting to know this little person better as the months progress. She has been kicking and stretching and playing--on the ultrasound we caught her smacking her little lips, as if she was looking straight at us and talking.

There is a special bonding that happens between conception and birth. For me, there is a connection that happens that goes far beyond speech--a "knowing" that is not explainable. I sometimes flinch when trying to describe my pregnancies to others--I like that Psalm in which David says, "deep calls unto deep"--pregnancy is like that--a connection with the baby and a connection with Jesus that defies anything else ever experienced. Perhaps it is the cooperation with the Creator in bringing life into the world. Whatever it is, I love it.

Meanwhile...

We are currently in the process of restoration in our house after a stuffed toilet overflowed, and then the flapper stuck open, and then the overflow continued for almost 2 hours, resulting in a deluge covering most of the main floor and basement, including walls. The first 10 hours of cleanup were by ourselves, and I was praying for relief, and husband was praying for the damage, until God gave us the answer in the form of our homeowner's insurance (we're awfully dumb for being so "smart"--thank God for angels in the form of washing machine repairmen who make wonderful suggestions).

The insurance company sent out a crew that brought water extractors and blowers and all sorts of expertise--and we finally got to rest and watch Muppet Show reruns with our kids--ahhhh!

Now we are beginning the process of carpet replacement, drywall replacement, etc. We thankfully have 3 floors, so the upper floor is our little "apartment", but keeping so many little children busy in a small space can be tricky--so we are playing games like "hide it"--where one person hides an object while the rest wait in the bathroom, then the "hider" gives hot and cold clues. Another game we like is "dance and freeze", in which we play some rousing music and the children dance until the mute button is pushed, then whoever is caught moving has to sit until the next muted time. This helps get all of the wiggles out, as well as periodic cleaning of the rooms and sessions where we sit around and do a lot of sharing and joking and laughing.

We do watch a few movies and we allow our oldest son at home a limited amount of computer-game time, but we try not to rely on these--there is always a rebounding from hours of pent-up energy that is counter-productive. It takes more work to actually engage the children, but it pays off in the end (and it ends up being more fun for me). Keeping them busy with chores is also helpful--like baking and folding the laundry as it comes out--which is a goal of ours that is rarely reached :/

Well, that's the reality from our little corner of God's Kingdom on earth.

Sherry

Silence the lies

I get stray comments once-in-a-while, but I usually ignore these--they just aren't worth my time to respond, and they are usually filled with expletives and mispellings--that's the beauty of being able to moderate.

I feel this recent one, however, is important to respond to. Here it is:

Your way of thinking is dying. Love your children, teach them well, be happy in your life. But know that your time has passed. Do not fight the future. Whatever happens will happen.

What is the message of this comment? --Acquiesce, give up, don't fight, accept the inevitable. These are the whisperings of the devil himself.

No doubt many have heard these whisperings through the ages. I am sorry to say that many in Germany heard these whisperings when the madness there began--and they gave up and did nothing.

I remember standing in the empty room at Dachau (a concentration camp in Germany that has been turned into a memorial) where there were once stacks of emaciated human bodies awaiting cremation. I walked the compound and saw the roofs of residential homes above the concrete walls. The citizens of the town lived not 50 yards from the stench of those ovens--and they did nothing.

I heard a story later from a soldier who had helped liberate that death camp. The soldiers were so disgusted at the apathy of the people of the town that they forced each of them, at gunpoint, to walk past uncovered graves filled with hundreds of these corpses. After the mayor and his wife took their turns, they went home and killed themselves.

So I should look the other way--just live in my little corner of the galaxy and forget what goes on outside. That is selfish, and that is not the Gospel of Christ.

Yes, I know how to acquiesce--but only to God's will. I am told to fight against every other bit of evil nonsense. Jesus, that Man of men, has been painted as such a wimp--but He taught us to fight. He used military terms when discussing our responsibilities:

And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force. Matthew 11:13

I am not advocating taking up the sword--but the pen is mightier than the sword. Those of us armed with the truth should take up every opportunity to give people the vision of the Eternal, the Unchanging, the faith that overcomes the things that we see before us. Evil may seem to triumph for a season, but it will not ultimately win.

The devil is always a boaster and a liar. He cannot win, but he has his jollies by scaring and demoralizing people. The main-stream media is all but completely controlled by him--and those who live their lives by it and believe the lies that are reported there are foolish and deceived. God rarely does His work through "official" channels--His moves of the Spirit are often overlooked and underestimated.

Actually, I am giddy with excitement at the great move of the Holy Spirit that is happening right before our eyes. Through the miracle of the Internet, we are witnessing the "calling out" of myriads of people--God's remnant is waking and mobilizing. Only snippets and tidbits will be reported to the public at large, but the effects of what God is doing will soon be evident.

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?

Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth.

Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.

Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:31-39

Just what we asked for

I pray for our leader, the one in the big, white house. He is what he is. He is just what we have asked for.

This man who is making decisions and signing all sorts of executive orders is being true to who he claimed to be from the beginning. There is no subterfuge here; he is honestly the man he claimed to be.

We are the ones that are deceived. We, the Church in America, do not live what we believe.

We don't even know what we believe.

I'm sick to tears of how we "minister" in America. I'm sick of the watered-down Gospel that only works if God is blessing you financially or you are excelling in all areas. I'm tired of a Jesus that we have created that promises life-long prosperity and happiness, without the fruits born of self-sacrifice and sorrow. God is our "entitlement program"--no wonder we voted in more Socialism.

I've had enough of rock-concert church. I want the real, the genuine move of the Holy Spirit.

I'm tired of the abandonment of the family--what used to be taken for granted is now deemed as a cult.

I'm tired of pastors and churches who deprecate children and advocate birth control to their parishoners in one breath, then claim to be pro-life in another.

I'm weary of Christians who pussy-foot around with the indoctrination children receive in the public school arena, then scratch their heads as they witness the heretical formations within the Emerging Church, which our wishy-washy stance on education created--a generation that is synthesizing the pagan mores they learned in the popular culture with the doctrines of Christianity.

I can't tell you where I've walked--I don't want to incriminate people for moments of weakness--but I can tell you that a lot of the putrification of the Body is in the leadership--I can tell you that the indoctrination of public schooling and the media is proclaimed from the pulpit from those that are unknowing as to what they are actually promoting.

And how do we treat a festering wound? Do we cover it with a band-aid and hope for the best? That is an excellent way for infection to grow, and eat away, and kill the individual. No, we lance and expose, and we bleed and we wash. Then the stinging medicine is applied. Then the healing begins.

And so we have a man in office that is painful to watch, so painful that I cannot bear it. I must look away. But is the opening of a festering wound--a wound that if not treated will continue to grow and eat away and kill the Body.

I am reminded here of a period of time just before the Great Depression. The 20's were roaring--we were a prosperous nation that was flinging away all convention. Women were loose, and those who had wealth thought it was due to their evolutionary "survival of the fittest" abilities. But as the money disappeared, the wealthy found themselves standing in the bread lines with the poor--and their eugenic super-race dreams were dashed--saving us from the fate of the Nazi culture in Germany which we had previously been flirting with. It was God's mercy that we suffered through those years.

And so the way may look bleak ahead, but I am encouraged. God has not left us--He is loving us like sons. He is mercifully removing the putrification, bleeding us and washing us so that we may receive His medicine and begin the healing--to be a Body prepared for His return.

Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY January 19, 2009...
Outside my window...The sun is sparkling and reflecting from the tops of the roofs in my neighborhood.

I am thinking...About being 44 and holding my own little 2 yo as she slowly wakes up, playing with each other's hands, kissing her repeatedly, and soon to know the pleasure of a newborn.

I am thankful for...A house full of happy children, some singing, some working and mumbling together as they do their morning chores.

From the learning rooms...We have been spending so much time in the Word and visiting with A.W.Tozer, it has been so fruitful. We are also having our "table time", practicing more reading skills, spelling and handwriting. Our current read-aloud is The Hiding Place, about the ten Boom family during WWII. No matter how many times I read this novel, I never tire of it, and I am loving sharing it with my children. For science, we have been laughing at the National Geographic channel(we no longer receive satellite--just the two free preview channels this month, which currently happen to be NGTV)--the newest funny is a program in which they claim that whales used to walk on land, and that turkeys used to be raptors--so thankful that God gave us Genesis!

From the kitchen...Today we are jingling bowls and spoons as the children are enjoying some cereal.

I am wearing...A blue cable-net sweater and navy skirt.

I am creating...I have a basketful of jeans that are cut and ready to be re-created into skirts. This is so fun and satisfying--I am perfecting adding pleats in the space between the legs.

I am going...To stay home--I love home.

I am reading..."Feminine Appeal" by Mahaney, which I checked out of the library, plus the Word--how I need to keep my mind there!

I am hoping...for a peaceful, happy day.

I am hearing...the doorbell ring...older brother has stopped by to help with a computer problem.

Around the house...Everyone is happy to see David. They hug and the baby is being ferryied about by him.

One of my favorite things...Holding and kissing my babies as they are just waking up has to be one of the most wonderful things.

A few plans for the rest of the week: To live and love and keep things going--all according to God's plans and times for me. My life is an open book to Him--He is the Conductor and I follow His leading.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...
This is my baby scribbling away.

You can find more simple posts here.

Creating contentment

There's a horrible idea that circles round and round in our heads--"fairness".

When I grew up, one of the most important doctrines I was taught was that things had to be "fair". If Sister had a ball, then I had to have a ball. If Sister went to the zoo, then I was promised a special trip.

The adults in my life spent considerable time making sure that no one worked harder than anyone else, or was corrected more than someone else, or was complimented more than someone else.

This led to a feeling of entitlement. I had to have what others had, or it was not "fair". I couldn't do more chores or help out more than someone else, because that wasn't "fair". I daren't volunteer my own self to help out more because I would be doing more than someone else.

And in marriage the "fairness doctrine" can be devastating. Why should I help him--I've already been working all day cleaning the house. He only has to go to work, while I must take care of these babies all day. When he comes home, he should help me to make things fair".

As I became a student of the Bible, it came to my attention that this utterly important concept of fairness was rarely mentioned. I can honestly say, after a thorough examination of the doctrines of scripture, that fairness is not one of them.

In God's view, justice ranks far above fairness. As my kids like to say, "God is just, not fair".

It's like the pie principle. When my older girls were young and at home, they often would take care of their little bit of chores and then go into their own worlds, balking when anything more was asked of them, since they had already done "their part" and it wasn't fair to ask anything else of them, especially if someone else was available. I explained to them that they only saw their one piece of pie, but I saw the whole, and if I asked them to do something, it was because I saw how it would affect the whole pie, not just their little piece.

And this is the difference between us and God. We look at our lives as a little slice of the pie--what we have and what is expected of us. But God looks at the whole--how each part is intricately affected by and affects the others. From our view, He is often unfair, but from His view He is ultimately just in His omniscience.

It is of utmost importance that the children in our homes learn this. Especially in large families, they need to understand that not everyone will receive the same treatment at all times, but that all will be loved and given what they need when they need it, not just for their own sakes, but for the sake of the whole family.

Practically speaking, this means that when Brother gets to go on a fishing trip, everyone else is happy for him and helps him to have a good time, rather than allowing the other children to sulk and complain that they don't get to go. It is explained that, if we are happy for someone else when they receive a special favor, they will be happy for us when we ourselves are given a special blessing. Also, it all evens out in the end.

Sometimes a child who doesn't even like fishing and would rather stay home and play piano will be upset, and so when the other sibling goes off on the trip, he sits and sulks instead of spending the time having fun playing the piano! Isn't this so much like our sinful selves!

Jesus had to deal with this in His own disciples. When they quarreled over who would be the greatest in the Kingdom, He said, "He who is the greatest must become the servant of all." And later, when He was about to be translated into Heaven and a disciple asked Him about another disciple's fate, Jesus said to Him, "What is that to you? You follow Me."

A show recently aired that explored what people's reactions were in various situations. A scenario was created in a supermarket in which a customer(an actor) asks to cut in front of someone in line for the cashier because he only has a few items. As the actor is being waited on, he is informed that he is the five-millionth customer, and therefore has won $500. The person that allowed him to cut in front of him in line is then filmed close-up for any reaction. Most of the people in this situation reacted negatively, since they would have otherwise been the reipients of this award--with one woman exclaiming specifically, "It just isn't fair," over and over again. But there was one patron who was actually happy for the other actor/patron. When asked why she wasn't disappointed, she said, "Oh, I'm just happy for him. I'll get blessed another way." How refreshing and faith-filled!

If we raise up children who are over-concerned with everything being "even", we will create people who have are stingy-minded and self-centered. They will be the ones that vote in more Socialism--since the government will make sure that things are distributed "fairly"--what a snare!

But if we encourage our children not to have side-glances at others, but to look to the One who is just and promises to take care of us like He cares for the lilies of the field and the birds of the air, they will grow into people of character who give their lives for causes greater than themselves. They will have content hearts, and will live more joyful and happy lives, no matter what the circumstances.

For more meditation on this subject, read Psalm 37.

Home-wrecking 101

I loved my gramma.

She was a fascinating story-teller, and having lived through the Great Depression and WWII gave her a lot of material from which to draw.

She worked nights, so when I was too sick to go to day care or school, I spent the day at Gramma's. She would find such interesting and engaging things for me to do--such as giving me a box full of scraps, a pair of scissors, and some needle and thread and allowing me to "dress" my Barbie dolls.

Gramma taught me how to sew, to embroider, and to crochet. She taught me how important it is to be well read, and she was the only person I remember emphasizing the reading of "the classics"; handing me a Nathanial Hawthorne novel and instructing me to underline and look up the words I did not understand.

But Gramma taught me other good lessons--mostly from the negative way that she lived.

Along with the wonderful histories, there were the horrible ones. She shared freely all sorts of things that I should never have heard--about her first husband, and then her second. There were so many reasons for Gramma to be bitter--so many reasons why men should never be trusted, although she never came right out and said it.

But Gramma was no radical feminist--nosiree Bob! She was against the ERA of the 70's, and believed that women should be home taking care of the house and children--but it was just that there weren't any true men around that were capable enough to be the protectors/providers that were required.

Grampa certainly was not qualified. She ran him down in his presence during every visit. He wasn't good with money, didn't know how to get a good job, wasn't good with children, was imbicilic and couldn't concentrate well, etc. Whenever we went out to dinner with other guests, she critiqued him afterwards--his manners and what sorts of things he shared. When they were out driving, she reprimanded how he turned, or signaled, etc. (she herself was too terrified of driving to own a driver's license). I remember her lecturing him as she was cooking in the kitchen, and him sitting at the kitchen table, his chin propped in his hand, and soundly asleep.

In his later years, she took him to the doctor for hearing loss. His hearing was fine, the doctor informed her, he just had a "concentration problem"--in other words, it wasn't that he didn't hear her, it was that he had become so used to letting what she said go in one ear and out the other that he had ceased to pay much attention at all. And I couldn't blame him.

As a young mother without transportation during the day to take my children to appointments, etc., Gramma put the then retired Grampa to the task of ferrying me around. During these times I got to know Grampa for who he really was--an intelligent, capable man with a huge, loyal heart. I found out just what a great story-teller he was as well--and he told me about the war, and his first marriage, and all sorts of things that were locked up inside him that Gramma never deemed valuable enough to be shared.

The saddest of all things was that, after he died, I made a little dedication to him on my computer. In it I included a reference to his time spent at Guadal Canal--something that he had spent a few hours describing to me. Gramma hated it--she kept insisting that he was never there. After all of the years they spent together, she never really got to know or appreciate him. She was so comfortable with the box she had shaped for him that she determined never to release him--even in the minds of others.

Gramma left her own legacy. The daughters she raised have lived up to her standards. The men in their lives are also imbicilic, and often "abusers", simply because they just aren't women! If there is anything they have been taught, it is how to tear up a man, and a home. Here are some of the basic principles of the home-wrecking process:

• Above all else, one's happiness and security are of the greatest importance.
• Religion is fine, it its place, but God expects us to take care of ourselves.
• If a woman gets out of line, a simple apology should suffice, but if a man makes a mistake, make sure that he pays for it over, and over again.
  
• Since men are stupid, and women are so intuitively wise, they need us to constantly arbiter their lives--they require constant critiqueing and correcting.
  
• Men are not good at correcting and understanding children. The children need their mother to step in and come to their aid whenever Father corrects them.
• Keep a man on a short leash--use affection, or the lack of it, to force them to comply.
  
• Scrutinize his every move, word and action. Always attach the most negative connotation to everything he says and does. Allow your imagination to run wild with how heinous his intentions trully are. Expect him to be unfaithful.
• If a man begins to react to your unrealistic and abusive treatment, you must shake your head and say, "I knew it all along--his true character is showing!"
• Although men should be infinitely patient with wives that cannot cook, clean or understand them, men should be perfect from the first day of marriage, and if they aren't, they should be regarded as defective for the duration of the marriage, although that usually isn't very long.
• Don't allow men to handle money, and if you do and they make a mistake, throw a fit about it and rub it in their faces. After all, money is your security! (remember--one's happiness and security are important above all else, and God expects us to take care of ourselves).
• To assuage your own conscience, allow him a few typically manly things--such as watching a football game, or giving him a pocket knife, or a fishing trip. Then make sure that he owes you for your "indulgence".
• Nag him for not being a spiritual leader, then berate him for not having a good understanding of spiritual matters, at least not likethe wonderful understanding of spiritual matters that you have attained (or the pastor does, or the other men in the congregation do).
• If he gets in the way of your plans for happiness, get along with your own life and simply ignore him. If he complains, tell him he is weak.
  

The results of this process are mixed; on the one hand, your fleshly dreams will be realized. You will either have a man that gives up and leaves you, in which case you can claim that you were the victim and that he was simply "no good", or you can create a woman-man, one that is afraid of you and complies with your every whim.

On the other hand, the end of the process leaves you with a self-created mental illness. Women who follow the above prescription are egotistical, arrogant and dishonest. They are bewildered that other people don't want to spend much time with them, so they use manipulation techniques on others as well. Their whole view of life is skewed--simply because we all desperately need men to keep us from the foibles inherent in our gender. These women are woefully insecure and suspicious of everything in life. Often, they do not exhibit natural affection and concern--they become soulless beings.

Without men, we are only one half of the coin. Like a child sitting on a teeter-totter, we need another to sit on the opposite end.

If we truly give our lives to Christ--we will not suffer this fate. We will live as though dead, carrying our crosses. We will follow the example of Jesus.

Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;

Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.

Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme;

Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well.

For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men:

As free, and not using your liberty for a cloke of maliciousness, but as the servants of God.

Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.

Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward.

For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.

For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.

For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:

Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:

Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:

Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. 1 Peter 2:11-25, and 3:1-6

Trust God implicitly, keep it honest, keep it humble.

Sherry

My husband--an architect of souls

I was watching a documentary the other day on the Sydney opera house--you know, that huge, white building with the peaked roofs that is readily associated with Australia.

Almost everyone in the world has at least seen a picture of this colossal facade--but does anyone remember the name of its architect? Funny little story about that. It seems that the original designer of this building had some specific ideas, some complicated and very extravagant ideas, that the Australian people eventually became at odds with. The fracture between the architect and the populace inevitably came to a place wherein something had to give, and the designer refused, so he relinquished the project and left the country--never to return.

As of the televising of the documentary I was watching, the man who envisioned the whole project has never heard one concert within its walls.

Men (and women) are always trying to do great things. I have had the privilege of knowing some men that were trying to build castles, much like the Australian opera building, here on earth. Some were material, some were spiritual. I used to be in awe of such individuals, until I got to know them. Past the hype and the pretense, I found them to be intensely human--just like me. Many carried it well, and they didn't mind being real and humble. Others wore their persona like the puffed-up feathers of a peacock.

One day the Sydney opera theater will end up like the Parthenon in Greece--a crumbling remembrance of a culture that was once significant. Already the post-modern building is wearing with age, and the government is having to go to great expense to shore it up so that it will not go to wreck and ruin. Everyone of the great accomplishments of man are doomed to this fate--especially many of the spiritual ones that were formed primarily from the pride of man.

But I have a true visionary in my home. No one outside of his family knows his significance. Even though he has been privy to many a meeting of some of the best empire-building minds, he has never felt comfortable there. He is simply too genuine.

He doesn't cast great visions of discipling a future generation of leaders and laying down his life for Christ, he is a living example of a teacher and discipler, of one that lives a daily death.

Yes, he is my husband and the father of 15 children.

I often marvel as I watch him at work. It's funny, but after more than two and a half decades of closeness, I find that I am discovering even more about him than I ever thought I knew. I love the twinkle in his blue eyes as he shares his heart, the sense of humor with which he corrects the children, the honesty and transparency which makes what he speaks ring so true in their hearts.

He has always been a man of great tenacity. Raised in an environment of uncertainty, ripped from his family and placed in an abusive foster home, he ran away, yet still attended school, with good grades, and after school he worked in the onion fields to support himself. Through it all he never lost his sense that God had great things ahead for him.

And so we have already raised five children together--he has experienced with me all of the seasons that most men only live through 2 or 3 times--of infanthood and toddlerhood, the elementary years and then the heart-wrenching work of directing young people into their own lives. But his tenacity and optimism never cease. He forges ahead, with the steel of a man that knows his mind and heart, and does not allow even the stubborness of a two or an eighteen year old to deter him from his task; to raise up a generation sold out for Jesus.

The other day we were walking outside through white flurries of snow. He instantly offered me the crook of his arm so that I would not slip on the slick pavement, and then he opened the door of the car for me and made sure I was seated comfortably while he braved the cold wind. This is a picture of how it has been for me all these years. Some have often seen him as a cruel man lording it over me, forcing me to have baby after baby. But what they don't see is that it has been my heart's desire to have babies, and that I have been blessed with a man that supports me in my "career". He seems to have ears that are sensitive to my needs, and works tirelessly to ensure that I suffer no lack--even when that means swallowing his own pride with others.

The builders of the Parthenon are long dead, their whole culture only preserved in the dusty pages of books. Yet all in turn have passed into eternity, where they have met their Creator and the judgement that is due them. What did they bring with them?--certainly not the crumbling trigliph of a temple fashioned for a god made of stone.

But my husband will have treasures to lay, and crowns to cast, at the feet of Jesus.

Thrift stores exempt

A lot of ladies, myself included, were recently alarmed that thrift stores may not be able to resell anything marketed to children on February 10. There is good news! The Consumer Product Safety Commission has exempted thrift stores from the law. You can read about it here.

A fun snow day

Yesterday morning I got a call from Grace, who is 19 and lives with her older brother David and sister Anna. She informed me that they all, along with her fiance, would be picking all of the kids up for an afternoon of sledding, complete with hot chocolate, lunch, and a Muppets movie!

The kids at home were ecstatic. They cleaned and searched for all of their winter gear, and by the time the older kids showed up (with a caravan of cars), they were all ready and we were just at the end of our daily Bible study/prayer/devotional time, so we all prayed together. Then all nine of them, including the baby, plus the older kids, climbed into the cars and were off.

After the children were all gone, Daddy and I were left with at quiet house--how very strange and eerie. We took some time to talk and had a little rest. Then Daddy went into his office to take care of some business, and I cooked a steak that we shared, along with some micro-baked potatoes and a salad. Then he continued his business while I cleaned and inventoried in the kitchen and made up a menu. We got a lot accomplished, but we were really happy when the kids all returned.

It turns out that David bought the kids some better gloves--we had the knit kind, and he bought some insulated. They ended up spending over an hour out in the cold--only got up to 25* F. The baby only lasted about 15 minutes, but David lives next to the park, so they just walked her back to the condo and warmed her and entertained her. They ended up taking a nap together after lunch. Everyone had such a wonderful time together! I never have to worry that they aren't taking care of each other--what a blessing.

I just thought I'd share this little snapshot because it was such a spontaneous surprise, and such a testimony as to what God can do with a family that loves Him.

Broken, not crushed

People often misunderstand me.

Yes, I have this mammoth family--and I think it's great, and I don't see that having so many children means that I will die sooner, or that I look uglier or older or that I am missing more teeth, or that I will get breast cancer from nursing too much, or that my husband will leave me because he can't stand the pressure, or that my kids are all neglected and warped, or that we are plundering the earth's resources, or that we are just doing this for attention, or that we are trying to be "holier than thou", and on and on and on.

And, yes, I believe that children in large families learn lots of lessons that kids in smaller families don't necessarily always learn--I could make a list here, but I am sure many of my readers already know most of the contents of that list (but lots of bad happens in large families--much depends on the leadership, circumstances, etc.).

However, there is a danger here; you may have gotten the impression that I think that having a large family has been the driving force in my life. This is so far from the truth.

The message, if any, that should be drawn from the testimony of who I am is this: She trusted God and surrendered, and it was good.

Now, some trust God and don't have even a spouse--then it is good. Some trust in God and never walk or see or hear--He makes it all good.

Some trust in God, some ladies that read my blog, and things happen so that they will never have one child, or only a few--and that also is good.

The number of children is not the issue--it is the brokenness.

To be broken--to accept the hammer and chisel--this is the life of the true believer. And for me He has seen fit to bless me with wonderful children, and I enjoy them and relish in their beauty and companionship--but I also feel the pain.

I feel the pain each time I become pregnant and endure the months of illness. I feel the pain when I become to big to sleep or eat. I feel the pain of childbirth and recovery. I feel the afterpains, of early nursing, of sleepless nights.

And as the children grow and move away, I feel the pain of separation. And it is all part of the brokenness--the brokenness that allows me to become a fit vessel. This is the brokenness that produces the joy, the pain that gives the reward.

I have recently rejoiced with the Duggar family over the birth of their 18th child. Many others are not rejoicing--they are pointing fingers and cursing. Others are jealously desiring what Michelle has--they want to have the joy and the peace that emanates from her. But do they realize the price?

The apostle Paul said, "Godliness with contentment is great gain".

One doesn't have to have a mammoth family to be content. One doesn't have to be married to experience joy. One doesn't have to even be able to walk to experience the blessedness of having Jesus as one's closest friend.

The key is to trust--to allow our minds to be changed so that we can see God for just how big He is--that He is not even limited by our own foibles or the foibles of others, or by the changing of the tide or the seasons.

A wise man, my husband to be exact, asked me a very important question; if we are wanting something we don't have, what are we doing with what we already have in our hands?

If we want a larger house, what are we doing with the house God has already provided?

If we want more food, what are we doing with the food we already have?

If we want a better husband, what are we doing with the one God has already given?

If we want more children, what are we doing with the ones we already have?

If our time for childbearing is over, what are we doing with the days?

It is the answers to these questions that tell us why we do or do not experience joy and contentment.

It is amazing to me, but often the very things I waste time pining over somehow suddenly appear in abundant fulfillment only after I have ceased to suffer for them, when I have released my desires to God and learned to go back to the contentment of who He is--the Joy of Man's Desiring.