It's the thought that counts

Hearth and home at Christmas!

Little Charlie's bright eyes sparkle as he wraps up his gift--he imagines his mommy's wonder and surprise at the mug he made and carefully painted for her.

Christmas morning finally arrives and mommy begins to open her son's present. Inside the misshapen package is an item which defies explanation; a mug painted in a vibrant psychedelic explosion of color. She bites her tongue and remembers her little boy; she knows that she holds his precious heart in her hands.

"I love it! It is exactly what I was hoping for!" she exclaims, as she wraps the small boy warmly in her loving arms. He is so delighted, feels so very successful. He reluctantly breaks free from his mother's embrace and takes a little skip as he walks across the room.

We mothers know just how to encourage our children when it comes to gift-giving. We know how to be gracious to almost everyone in our lives when it comes to receiving gifts that are not exactly what we would really want, except when it comes to our husbands.

The happy couple

Somehow we don't think the dear, delightful men in our lives deserve the same consideration that others do. They are just like young Charlie; they are all thinking about how much their gift will be a blessing, and it is their hope and anticipation to receive a grateful response. How truly sad it is when a man's special lady rejects his gift, or complains, or says, "It's a good thing the stores have a liberal return policy".

Some men think diamonds, some think mud flaps for the car. Others simply place a gift card in an envelope. There's something malicious in the heart of a woman who constantly finds fault, or keeps comparing him to others in her own mind; that's not what so-and-so's husband is getting her, why didn't he even wrap it? Doesn't he know we could spend this money more wisely?

My husband's greatest desire is to see me happy. That's why he takes me along to shop with him. When he discovers that I am interested in an item, he buys it for me, and then has me wrap it for Christmas.

Now, I love surprises and secrets--so it takes a bit of the fun away for me to know what's inside every package. I could get "pensive" and suddenly decide that he is not putting enough thought or effort into his gift-giving, by selfishly complaining and making him feel bad.

Wishing the best Christmas ever!

But through the years I have learned to be more appreciative than that. I love his heart. He is so intent on making me the happiest woman on the face of the earth, that he only wants to give me gifts he knows I will like. By taking me along, he is cherishing me.

Some husbands cherish their wives by working overtime even during the holidays. Still others may refuse to accept gifts for themselves for the sake of the needs of the others they love. One man may buy accessories for the family car, or even new cleaning supplies or other practical things. There are men who view Christmas as an opportunity to bestow material blessings on their families, and many men who wince at the thought of the extra expenditures because they see the looming year ahead and don't want their families to suffer want.

And we women often use all of their good intentions against them. "Why don't you stay home with us more at Christmas? Why don't you ever buy me anything romantic? Why do you always spend too much money? Or why do you seem to always get so "commercial" at Christmas--shouldn't your focus be more on the Lord?"

"...but thou excellest them all."

The wise woman, the one who wants to build-up her own home, will bite her tongue at these temptations. She will keep away from the foolish sitcoms and soap operas, magazines, and all those movies that tend to promote a life of selfishness. The genuine Proverbs 31 woman will cease being a tormentor, and instead give him the security he needs--by building him a throne with her loving approval and complete acceptance.

Becoming a virtuous women

"Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out of her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates." (Proverbs 31:10-31)