Decided love

Almost 29 years together!

My dear husband and I will have been married 29 years this September. This is not novel in the history of the world; until recent years marriage has been considered a life-long bond.


We are both very sinful, selfish people. We have faults and foibles that both aggravate and exasperate. But every day we decide to love each other with God's unconditional love. Without any premeditation, you will find us embracing and declaring our ardour—it is a decision we are making, a choice to overlook our moments of individual pettiness and concentrate on the commitment we both made to God and each other so many years ago. As a result our love is stronger today than it was at the beginning of our journey together! We once had a plaque that read, "It doesn't matter where you go or what you have. What matters is who you have beside you. Jesus!" Jesus has been at the very center of our marriage and family-life.

A view from atop Pikes Peak

We have been duped in our modern, western culture into believing that love needs a display of emotion in order to be valid. But love is often at its most noble when there is no emotion whatsoever; it is at its very best when it is a cognizant declaration.


So it is perfectly normal and expected that sometimes we don't "feel" very loving towards our spouses or our children. For one thing, our fleshly desires are often thwarted by what we perceive as impediments to our personal happiness. But there is a higher goal than happiness; holiness is the target which we as Christians, transformed by the blood of Christ, should be aiming toward.

A moment in the life

So today, when a little one spills his juice all over his clothes five minutes before the doctor's appointment, or when faced with one of the millions of other challenges we deal with as mothers, we make a determination; to love, to cherish, and to validate and esteem these precious people God has blessed us with.


Amazing things happen when we choose to love—the emotions do come, and they overflow. Our countenance changes. Our frustration level decreases, and our joy mounts.


Jesus left us the example—He laid down His life, even though He had to fight until His sweat turned to blood, but He chose us.


His was truly a decided love.