Homeschooling sanity

Home-school books.

There are so many methods, so many ideas about education, that it is enough to make a mother dizzy! I am about to share some things with you that are not at all "politically correct". These are my own observations after having run through the gamut of educational methods and systems. Of course, others may have had different experiences, and I don't claim to know it all! I hope you will keep this in mind as you read my personal conclusions.

"School at home" is where we usually start. We purchase the desks, the chalkboard, and the workbooks and begin in earnest, all in our places with bright, shining faces!

But soon the baby cries, the toddler flushes a doll down the toilet, and the 5-year-old cannot grasp phonics or counting. The laundry lies in mounds in the living room floor, and dinner is too often sandwiches or macaroni and cheese. Marital tensions mount as "Wife" is hidden under stressful layers of "Teacher".

The burdens of daily living combined with homeschooling require a juggling act for any size of family, but when a family is growing almost yearly in number, the demands increase almost exponentially.

I can't count just how many questions I receive from mothers with many young children, close in age, who are asking the question, "How can I get it all done?"

After years and hours of research, I can honestly tell you that even the best of methods do not adequately help a mother in stressful situations.

For instance, although Charlotte Mason's methods are beautiful and practical in many instances, I have never read that Miss Mason ever had children of her own, nor that she was ever even married. This is not to say that she lacked insight into education and training of children, just that she never educated them at home, as a devoted wife, and in the midst of mothering many children each at different educational levels.

Her practical applications are aimed primarily at families having financial means, where the mother could actually afford help. Many homeschooling families are not so economically well-off, having given up the potential of a second income for the sake of the family. Also, the more children in the family, the more things must be stretched, monetarily speaking.

For example, it is recommended by CM that all children take an hour's walk daily. This is a high ideal, but what if a mother of 7, the oldest 10 years old, is fighting all-day pregnancy nausea while carrying child number eight?

Of course, there are still ways of incorporating these high ideals, but within reason for such situations.

Here are some of the other methods:

Classical. In great humility, I must tell you that keeping track of all of the different stages—grammar, dialectic and rhetoric—is just impossible for this mother of many. Although there may be merit in considering each child going through such stages, it is not possible for me to keep track of it all, nor am I convinced that doing so would actually help my children fare any better. Burn-out is not uncommon for mothers with small children who try and adhere strictly to the recommendations of such a theory.

Thematic. At first blush, this seems to be a perfect way to keep all of the family on the same page and yet realize positive momentum. I used this method for a number of years. It was fun at times, absolutely better than school-at-home, but still had its negatives. For one thing, not every child is absolutely delighted in each subject equally—so there can be a bit of push-back when relying on the power of enthusiasm to carry a study session along. Also, attempting to bring in every educational discipline into each subject can sometimes become a burden. Mother ends up doing the work of research, etc., the children become passive consumers of second-hand information, having had all of the connections between subjects already done for them (some rather contrived and unnatural).

Mother and child—together.

Lifestyle of Learning. This method correctly encourages mothers to be spiritually in tune with God, and to encourage the same in one's children. It relies almost entirely on the delight-directed activities of the child, and leaves huge gaps as to how a child is to learn basics such as math skills. Then there is the question of dealing with the authorities in one's life—spouses, relatives, and especially any reporting or testing—how do you explain that you are just "waiting" until the evidence of their learning becomes apparent? I have read and studied her materials closely, and while I was encouraged by them in many ways, I also found them to be strong on theory, weak on practicality, which is what a mother of many children needs most when living with so many children at different stages.

Charlotte Mason.  I find that Miss Mason had a better balance between the theoretical and the practical. It just takes a discerning mother to realize that her recommendations do not have to be adhered to in specifics, but basic understanding can be gleaned from each so that they can be effectually applied on a daily basis. I find it daunting when I have read the schedules of some mothers as they have attempted to put these ideas into regimented practice—a mother with tiny babes cannot plan a day in such explicit detail. I am aware that there are those who advocate putting the smallest infants on a regular feeding and sleeping schedule, but I am still not convinced that this is always the best, nor is it even practical in most cases—which means that most of us must make allowances for such situations that pregnancy, infancy, and toddler hood can create. There are also other interruptions of real life. Strict scheduling can create dilemmas that lead to discouragement and frustration.

Unschooling. The heart of unschooling is the belief that children already want to learn, we just need to facilitate their natural inclinations. This theory does not take into account the sinful, self-destructive tendencies of a child. Of course, God's imprint of original creativity is inherent in each of us, but to allow it free-reign is utter foolishness. Granted respect for this natural curiosity and desire for knowledge is paramount, but without discipline and wise guidance, it can lead down the path to ruin, and introduce chaos into the home. Besides this, children need very clear expectations with defined boundaries.

So where does this leave us?

On one hand, conventional schooling methods are out of the question for most larger homeschooling families due to their ineffectiveness and cost in time and money, and yet these other methods, when followed to the letter, can become just as stressful and impractical.

I have tried almost all of these roads in the last 21 years, and have copybooks full of notes and research.  Here are some of my conclusions:

Order is first. It doesn't matter if we own every nifty book and device for learning ever contrived, if our children are unruly, our husbands are neglected, or if we can't find a clean dish to eat with, we are failures before we even begin. Taking the time to get our homes in order is more important than having the most engaging learning plan on earth. Charlotte Mason is a great help here.

Spirituality. The Bible is not inconsequential. Unless we are making the Word a priority in our lives, we are creating "educated skeptics ". Knowledge without wisdom (the fear of God) leads to arrogant vanity. For those who can read, I require one chapter daily when they awaken. For those who cannot, the Bible is read to them. The Word is also used for copy work and dictation at various times. The Word of God is referenced in the study of any and all subjects and is purposely discussed all during the day. The Bible is central to Christian homeschooling.

Dad is not an interruption. There have been times when Daddy has been home with us. For a while he worked from home (two years). Since he tends to be more of a spontaneous person, he often encroaches upon my "plans". This can be a real stumbling block for me—a way that I can become offended and then everything goes down-hill very quickly!

Jesus receives the children.

I have had to surrender this area—I have a loose plan, but whatever Daddy wants to do is more important, such as a bit of gardening, a nature walk, Bible study right in the middle of the morning, etc. We are so blessed to have a Daddy whose main goal in life is to be with his family—and he loves teaching the children from the Bible and godly books, he has read aloud to them the world renown Christian allegory, Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan, Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard and Brother Lawrence's The Practice of the Presence of God. Not to mention several of A.W. Tozer's books and scores of devotional studies designed to instruct them on practical Christian living and character development. The children have benefited greatly from all of his "interruptions". Thank God!

McGuffey and other 19th Century Texts. I don't believe that McGuffey and Charlotte Mason ever met, nor that either was aware of the other, even though they lived during some of the same years. I do believe that each one would have greatly appreciated the other. For one thing, they both believed in respecting the child and not treating him as a blank slate, or dumb animal needing to be trained. While it is true that later educational theorists who revised his readers were influenced by those who viewed people as animals and machines (such as Wundt—see John Taylor Gatto), McGuffey's original books do not reflect these humanistic attitudes. I am often struck with the brilliance and purity of even the beginning readers.

McGuffey formulated his readers with deference to the situations which existed on the American frontier at the time. Many families did not own any book save the family Bible, so his texts needed not only to teach the basics of reading and writing, but introduce works of literary excellence. A bit of history and science were also included. Unlike the attitudes of those that would come later, he respected the parents, teachers and students as being made in the image of God and with the imprint of a Creative Master, just as Charlotte Mason concluded.

For these reasons, I have found these old readers to be a wonderful aid to me in the homeschooling of my many children. I can be assured they are reading worthy lessons, including works of poetry, while we use oral and written narration, copy work and dictation (all recommended by Miss Mason) for each. I also add scripture copy work appropriate for each lesson.

Ray's Arithmetics.  After reading a description of what Charlotte Mason considered to be important when considering maths, these texts fit the bill. The reliance is on word problems with a focus on practical life. They are also non-consumable and logical in order, with numerous resources available for the reinforcement and mastery of the content presented, both for free and at very nominal prices.

Living Books.  I keep books near at hand that lend themselves to introducing important information to my children through reading aloud and general discussion times. Some are novels of historical significance, some biographies, some fiction, and some purely informational and instructional. None are textbooks. After a bit of reading, we narrate orally or simply discuss the ideas presented. Here is a small sampling of what I consider worthy of our time:

Johnny Tremain (history, literature, patriotism, character)
Whatever Happened to Penny Candy (economics)
What Einstein Told His Cook (cooking, science)
Swiss Family Robinson (history, science, problem solving)

Time for this is often reclaimed from passages of life that would otherwise be wasted; while waiting in the van for Daddy, just after eating breakfast or lunch, on lazy afternoons lying on a blanket in the shade, watching the younger children play quietly in the sandbox.

Geography can easily be studied from the vantage point of a good book—and this is the kind of geography that will stick! Having Atlases lying around the house helps—my children take these to bed with them at night for continued study!

Notebooking.  I cannot say enough about this method. For one thing, there is only enough space available on my refrigerator for all of the clever, educational and artistic expressions my children can create. Keeping all of them neatly in three-ring notebooks can give each child the recognition and feeling of accomplishment he/she needs. I began keeping notebooks for my children 16 years ago, and the work that my older children did is still available and re-read by my younger children in these collections.

Sometimes the pages we include are created spontaneously but most often they are assigned by me, as I see an interest being pursued by a particular child in a specific area. This is where Marilyn Howshall's ideas come into play. I have found that if I give precis spaces to be filled in, this keeps the children on track and gives them the structure and direction they need from me (giving them blank pieces of paper can overwhelm and discourage them). However, fill-in-the-blank sentences can stultify their learning and keep them passive so that they are discouraged from investigating on their own (searching to fulfill an expectation instead of personalizing the greater concept). I give plenty of area for drawings, etc. and keep things as open-ended as possible. There are many sources available for these ready-made, both free and for a nominal fee.

There are also many other ways of including great works of art, music, literature, poetry, etc. in one's educational scheme without over-structuring. For one thing, we play good music during the day—Handel, Bach, Beethoven, etc. are all names which have become part of our vocabulary. If we are particularly impressed, we even look one of these up in our encyclopedia sets and discuss him over lunch. Classical recordings are extremely affordable, even when purchased as new. There are also numerous Internet radio streams which offer classical music exclusively.

But only God can make a tree!

Hymns are part of our lives; we have a collection of hymnals and sing them from them together as a family during our worship times and even while we are cleaning the kitchen. These songs are important—they are not just like the choruses sung in our modern churches. They are full of the meat of theology and pious devotion. The survivors of enemy prisoner-of-war camps have all attested to the strength the singing of these hymns lent them when everything else had been stripped away (there are now sites with recordings of the melodies of these if they are unfamiliar to you).

I keep a poetry anthology or two close at hand and read from it whenever the idea strikes me, or as a concentrated study. My favorite is 101 Famous Poems as compiled by Roy Cook. I have owned this one for about 18 years and referred to it so often that it is quite dog-eared. Each entry has a brief biography of the author. Our first poem memorized from this was Joyce Kilmer's Trees:

I THINK that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the sweet earth's flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.

Even small children can remember this one in just a few minutes. My grown children still quote it to me.

Of course, I must not neglect to mention Mother Goose rhymes, Robert Louis Stevenson, and Christina Rosetti for the younger set. I keep these close by my desk and find them soothing to read aloud just before a nap or during a thunderstorm at night.

Checking out over sized books from the library on a certain artist is one of the funnest ways to go about studying art. We also have a few encyclopedias of art in various places of the house and refer to them regularly. Our family is definitely bent towards artistic creativity (four of our grown children are graphic designers, two working full-time in the field), so artistic pursuits don't have to be encouraged, and sometimes are used as leverage against bad behavior (taking away drawing for a few days, etc.). I believe this is due, in part, to all of the time my children had over the years to draw and create as they wished—we have owned very few coloring books.

Tending the garden together.

As for the out-of-doors, the younger children play outside in our yard often, they are taught to enjoy the nature we have created there. We keep two gardens; one with herbs and flowers, the other with vegetables. They tend both and enjoy it immensely.

Quiet time in the afternoons is when the older set go off on nature walks—and after the little ones nap they excitedly share what they have seen with all of us. We try and go on family nature walks at least once a week, although in the heart of winter it is nearly impossible (our weather is often below freezing—not like the temperate winters Charlotte Mason experienced).

While I suppose certain educational exercises are relegated to specific times, the whole day is considered an educational experience. We do not own electronic game equipment, have only one cell phone, no cable TV subscription, and no computer games except solitaire. There will be times when the children will need to branch out, but we are not in any hurry. We have already raised six children to be fine adults in the same way—and they all do fine in social situations, despite our "cloistered" way of life.

We don't consider it our job to solve boredom—if a child comes up to me and even uses the word in a sentence, a new chore is assigned! Our children learn early-on to be creative with what they have at hand.

Concerning specialized areas of study, the older children naturally pursue these as they are needed—each child following his bent as he has been taught to put habits of careful and thoughtful diligence in place. They have been taught from infancy to view learning as fun, and so their leisure time is dedicated to it. With a little imagination, their careful studies are easily turned into high-school and even college-level courses.

Life skills are important! We tend to emphasize the liberal arts in our programs, but our children will grow to appreciate the time we take to teach them how to keep a checkbook or maintain a car. Even a nuclear physicist will have to change a flat some day!

Every child has his/her own satchel. This is where books, notebooks, copybooks, etc. are kept. These can be taken anywhere in the house, or even on the road, for learning at any time. These are dedicated to learning materials only—not allowed to be kept as "catch-alls" for gum wrappers, doll clothes, etc. It keeps things neat and simple and prevents them from becoming misplaced in the jumble that makes up our days.

I hope I have given a picture here of how possible it is to give children of a large family good, solid and practical educational experiences, without burning out or going broke! It is not our goal to cover every area of life and knowledge—no program can claim to do this—the universe of knowledge and wisdom is too vast to put into the nutshell of 12 years of study! Neither do we try and pursue everything all at once, but tend to learn in "seasons"—sometimes emphasizing nature, sometimes math, sometimes art.

It all boils down to trust—trust in God's timing and provision, as He cares for us more than we can possibly fathom.