Be who you are

I do not enjoy mid-century modern style. I know I'm supposed to--I can tell just by surfing online or visiting any retail store or outlet mall.

Mid-Century modern apartment layout.

Everyone is supposed to like stark, angled, modern lines, with solid, light or dark colors. If there is a print pattern, it must be some sort of abstract with modern appeal or something to that effect.

But who decides these things, and why? Why must we all blindly fall into line and just "quietly acquiesce"?

At first it is only on the shows made in California or New York that we see these hip new "styles" that have suddenly become en vogue.

1960's Pucci detail.

Try and imagine with me for a moment that folks began wearing brown paper sacks on their heads--at first we would be shocked, and even laugh with ridicule at the very idea! But after seeing actors, news anchors, politicians and sports figures and other role models wearing brown bags, our minds would begin to soften towards the notion. We would begin conversing with one another about how we mustn't be too prudish or judgemental, then we would soon discover folks in our own circles wearing sacks on their heads and thinking we might try one on for ourselves, and finally we would be wearing them everyday, and considering it odd that anyone would dare go "bagless"! Many of us can remember the clothing fads that have come and gone throughout the years.

And be not conformed to this world: but be you transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Romans 12:2

We are not very secure as human beings. It is not just something we learn; it is at the core of who we are. We should ask ourselves why we even care to court the opinions and approval of the world. That is why it was so encouraging to discover that we can become "new creations" in Christ!

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away;  behold, all things are become new. 

2 Corinthians 5:17 

It all began with Eve--she gave respect to the devil when he questioned God's intent--he dared to accuse the Lord of not having Eve's best at heart, and as this seed of doubt took root in her, her choice (defiance of God's command) set the stage; all of her children inherited the same sinful nature and were thereby condemned to live as though they had no foundation or anchor. So we drift through life--grabbing for what seems to be firm hand-holds--all the while we are sinking into a bottomless pit of miry clay.

He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay,

and set my feet on a rock, and established my goings.

Psalm 40:2

So we attempt to make security for ourselves. We dress, talk, act, decorate, drive, purchase, etc., in such a way that we can be "accepted" by others. Fit the norm--which, unfortunately, is in constant flux. We make every effort to go with the flow of the world's system in order to appear comfortably in step with our peers.

Schools, retailers, corporations, and even government officials take advantage of our natural fears and selfish inclinations, magnifying them, in order to satisfy their own ends.

I love what John Taylor Gatto says about schooling--that it trains children to be part of a "herd, hive or anthill".

Jesus fasting in the desert.

And even modern, American Christianity is no different. We have developed for ourselves whole publishing houses dedicated to helping churches "advertise"--and none of us is impressed any longer. We are too jaded; we are waiting for the bottom-line, the small print. The committees and central offices of denominations have bought into the lie that "the end justifies the means"--we pretend to promote integrity, while we broadcast the lie that living for Christ will cost nothing, that it will promise worldly happiness and financial prosperity today.

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17 And the world passes away, and the lust thereof: but he that does the will of God stays for ever.

1 John 2:15-17

But we keep cranking it out--and we are constantly calling it all "new"--but this is not God. He is the Everlasting--He doesn't make all new things, He makes all things new--by just a glimpse of His holy presence. 

I, for one, don't trust modernity. Sure, there have been innovations that I can appreciate--I am thankful that I can drive in one hour the distance it would have taken me two or three days to travel before the invention of the automobile and paved roadways.

But it is I (submitted to His Spirit's leading) who must choose just how much it will touch me. I can do this because I am not awaiting the approval of others.
                                                                                   
Jim Elliot, one of the gentlemen martyred by the Auca Indians of South America in the mid 1950's, had a quaint way of expressing this security. He confidently proclaimed that he only had to please One person--that he only had to be "A.U.G.--Approved Unto God".

The Bible tells us that there is truly only one way to live a God-pleasing life. We must be governed by the Holy Spirit.

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.

Romans 8:14

Jesus told Nicodemus that those who would be led of the Spirit would seem as though they were led by the wind--they would be doing and saying things that were not "conventional".

This is because God's ways are not our ways. Because our collectiveness does not produce God's righteousness; it just blinds us to our own true depravity--"After all, everyone is doing it!" But that road is the wide one--the one that leads to destruction!

There is a way which seems right to a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

Proverbs 14:12

Diverging paths in a wood.

I want the narrow one; the one less-travelled. So I read books that are tried-and-true. I search for words written about joy in the midst of pain, where God proved that He and He alone was truly enough.

And in re-discovering that my security is found in Christ, I am also beginning to appreciate and express myself just as God created me; without the worry of being "accepted" by others.

Homeschooling has been a great tool in my life, as well as gaining God's wisdom as I grow older. Sure, I still wince a little when the school bus picks the kids up right in front of my house--but it doesn't affect what I do everyday. After 22 years, I have become quite comfortable with our lifestyle--I don't even feel as though I need to make a big deal about it or even defend it--we are what we are, and that is enough for me. The purpose of our homeschooling is to renew/restore family-life which is Christ-centered.

I wear long dresses because I like them. I curl my hair because I like what I see in the mirror. I am willing to grow old gracefully. I choose the way I decorate my home because it gives me pleasure. I try and make decisions about such things based on how pleasing they are to God, and how they will bless others (the Golden Rule), not based on how acceptable they will make me appear to others.

This is only possible because I understand what Jesus accomplished on the cross for me; He became my righteousness--so that I could once again enjoy the sweet fellowship experienced by Adam and Eve, in the garden, where they were so secure they did not need to cover-up; living in His presence with total love and full acceptance.

Home schooling with trust

Even though I still try it, I am just not capable enough! I just can't seem to keep up regular homeschooling and remain sane during the month of December. The spaghetti in my head just can't keep up with all the extras--family get-togethers, craft projects, holiday decorating, gift shopping (actually we have it almost all done before Thanksgiving--thanks to a Daddy who loves to be Santa Claus and just can't wait), baking, etc.

But I am so thankful for a God that reels me back in when I find myself out too far!

It's all back to that "curriculum vitae" sort of idea. Sure, Johnny needs more help reading, and Sally may be having trouble spelling and Jimmy doesn't know about his time tables, but at Holiday time, I try and revert back to being "Mommy", instead of the "schoolish grinch" fear wants to make me.

Yes, it's fear. We are afraid that if we spend a few weeks learning in other ways, the year will get away from us and the whole universe as we know it will fly apart.

As I often say, I can't give my children everything, but I will give them everything I have (not everything I don't have).

I recently read the testimony of a mom who started homeschooling with such high hopes--she was going to give her children the best education in the world, and they were not going to have any deficits! It was tragic to read that it only took a few years until she was clinically depressed.

I am not judging this dear woman--I understand where she has been--after all, my mind is only spaghetti. It is so easy for me to want to take it all on--the requirements, the expectations of everyone, including myself.

But this is not trust, dear ones. This is self-worship. There is not a Big, All-Powerful, All-Knowing Master in such thinking, there is only a "me"--a very small, shaking-in-her-boots sort of character.

I remember well when I was a young, naive little girl in the U.S. Army (No, I do not support women being in combat). Basic training is supposed to be a time when they throw everything at you to see whether you will cope or break. During one force march we were wearing full packs (40 lbs. or more), steel helmets with liner, and carrying weapons. Add to this the jackets and gloves someone decided on as the "uniform of the day". We were being led on a five-mile trek through the forest--this forest just happened to have a floor of thick sand. Every step we took seemed like two steps backwards as our boots sank deeper and deeper into the shifting terrain. I had never before, and never since, perspired until the perspiration dripped from my hair, into my eyes, and down my face. 

The children making Christmas decorations.

A fearful heart is not effectual at imparting truth to others. A fearful mom will not be able to teach her children anything of consequence--her attitude will color everything in dark tones, it will produce the opposite of what it sets out to accomplish--it will seem like marching through the sand with a very heavy load.

I was reading in Jeremiah this morning, and it quieted my heart.

Am I a God at hand, saith the LORD, and not a God afar off?

Can any hide himself in secret places that I shall not see him? saith the LORD. 

Do not I fill heaven and earth? saith the LORD.

(Jeremiah 23:23-24)

I cannot hold the entire education of my children in my own hands; I must let it go and trust.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.

(Proverbs 3:5-6)

A wonderful time to be had by all!

So we are doing all sorts of fun things during these weeks--we are baking, singing, organizing, visiting, crafting and listening.

January will come soon enough--I want it to be a month we all look forward to! After a short season of a "free and easy" rest--it's amazing just how much we all look forward to more structure.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a very prosperous and Happy New Year!

Professor Exposes 'Great College-Degree Scam'

I obtained this originally from NewsMax--my apologies to the unknown author for lack of recognition.

Professor Exposes ‘Great College-Degree Scam’ 

While the number of American college graduates rose significantly from 1992 to 2008, 60 percent of the increased number worked in jobs that the Bureau of Labor Statistics considers relatively low skilled, a university economist disclosed.

Those are jobs where many employees have only high school diplomas or less, and less than half of the increased number of grads have filled jobs historically regarded as requiring at least a bachelor’s degree. 

That’s the finding of Richard Vedder, a distinguished professor of economics at Ohio University, who is critical of President Barack Obama’s insistence that the United States needs more college graduates.

In an article for The Chronicle of Higher Education headlined “The Great College-Degree Scam,” Vedder — director of the Center for College Affordability and Productivity — points out that in 1992, 28.9 million college graduates were employed, and 5.1 million — about 17 percent — were in jobs the BLS termed “noncollege level jobs.” 

But in 2008, total college graduate employment was 49.3 million, and 17.4 million — 35 percent — were in jobs classified as requiring less than a bachelor’s degree. 

As an example, Vedder notes that in 1992, there were 119,000 waiters and waitresses with college degrees. By 2008, the number had increased to 318,000. The total number of waiters and waitresses rose by 1 million during that period, and 20 percent of those new jobs were filled by college students. 

“The push to increase the number of college graduates seems horribly misguided from a strict economic/vocational perspective,” writes Vedder, who is also an adjunct scholar with the American Enterprise Institute for Public Policy Research. 

“It is precisely that perspective that is emphasized by those, starting with President Obama, who insist that we need to have more college graduates.” 

Vedder says his findings suggest “a horrible decline in the productivity of American education.” In many cases it now takes 18 years of schooling (including kindergarten and five years of college) to get an education to do a job that a generation or two ago was filled by a person with 12 or 13 years of education. 

Vedder concludes: “We are deceiving our young population to mindlessly pursue college degrees when very often that is advice that is increasingly questionable."

Refer also to another NewsMax article entitled, College Has Become a Consumer Fraud, By Ronald Kessler, chief Washington correspondent of Newsmax.com, Monday, 17 May 2010, 09:59 AM.

Homey, not homely

The children and I have been enjoying the video series "Homestead Blessings". Today we were watching the sewing portion.

These creative shows are nothing like what is typically shown on TV--they are a breath of fresh air--compared to what I have watched on PBS' "Create".

For one thing, there is no pretention. The pots and pans look used, the stove is one that would be found in any household. Their sewing machine is "vintage", their techniques are "what works", not what is "proper". I loved hearing their tips and explanations--they are meant for folks that aren't puffed-up, for folks that are homey. I would recommend these for anyone who is interested in being more productive at home.

Speaking of homey, another resource I thoroughly enjoy is Lady Lydia's Home Living blog. Her newest post, Needed At Home really gave me a lift--I think I will take her suggestion and hang the beginning poem on my fridge.

It used to be understood that Christian ladies were home-bodies, even if they were forced to work outside of the home for whatever reason. It isn't so anymore. I was amazed when my husband and I began rubbing elbows with professional ministers and their wives--just how much women being busy at home is disdained (not by everyone, but it is of such cultural pressure now that few speak up--I tried and was censured)--women who choose to focus on the home and find their calling there are often viewed as not to be following the Lord at all. Such a change from the foundational truths found in the Scriptures.

These Biblical views are quickly dismissed as being merely cultural--for a by-gone era and therefore antiquated. Antiquated indeed!

The Apostle Paul was not impressed with women who busied themselves with interests afar--he was concerned they would fall into sin. I know there are situations in which women cannot find a way out from engaging in outside employment, women whose hearts long to be home. If you are in one of these situations, God's grace will cover you. I once knew of a woman who lived behind the iron curtain and told me that, if she had stayed home with her children past the age of two years, she would have been thrown into jail for prostitution, since "she would have had to be making money somehow". The Gospel of Christ will meet anyone, anywhere and in any situation and He will direct your paths. Look for ways that He can lead you and provide for you so that you, too, can be a "keeper at home". The lady I spoke of eventually found herself released from that tyranny and living in America where she could be free.

Lady Lydia makes the case that many women fall for the logic that times are "too hard" for women to stay home. I don't think that men get to shine nearly as much since they can now rely on their women to share in the bread-winning. I remember many of the arguments during the 60's and 70's that getting women liberated would help them to live more productive lives and have better relationships--these urgings often used the analogy of the "unfaithful" or "dead-beat" man as the ultimate reason that every woman should have a way to fend for herself (no godly submission or familial trust). Flash forward to the present--there are more dead-beats and out-right gigolos than ever before. So much for the improved status of the liberated women!

Especially during economic down-turns, Mommy's presence is important for the entire family. For one thing, we need to lead in Esprit de Corps. We can find practical ways to celebrate: turn on the praise music and dance to the Lord, whip up some cheap vanilla pudding and add some bananas, make hot tea and scones in cold weather, etc. We can take what we have and tidy things up; if we can't afford the expensive room deodorizers, we can make some old-fashioned applesauce-cinnamon shapes and hang them in the bathroom.

We can "cannibalize" clothing for zippers, buttons, etc. and use them in our sewing projects to save money. When my great-grandmother died, she left my grandmother her stash of buttons--what a pleasure to sort and play with all of them--even my children enjoyed them. Effie Head (my great-grandmother) had mothered during a time when the following saying was very popular:

Use it up,

Wear it out,

Make it do,

Or do without.

When we are all worn-out from giving to everyone else out there in the real world, even if it is volunteer work at the church or other organization (everyone assumes that women who stay at home can become free labor--and we fall for it because we don't want anyone to think we are not "productive parts of society" or "true ministers" for Christ), as a consequence, we won't have the time or energy to be the cheerleaders, nurses, cooks, house-cleaning organizers, facilitators or hearth and home comforters we need to be for the most important people we will ever know--our husbands and children.

As I read the Bible (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth), and as I examine the instructions given to believers to what was at that time a new faith, I am struck with just how no-nonsense the scriptural injunctions actually are. Slaves are addressed in numerous places as to how to live for Christ in their current state, working heartily as unto the Lord not unto men. I am not for slavery, on the contrary, but we must serve the Lord where we find ourselves.

The life of a true believer, one who is sold-out and not counting his life as dear, is joyful and productive in the smallest of occupations. This quiet life is lived out in secret and is actually most powerful when not in the spot light and applause of a wide-ranging audience.

* I receive nothing in return for anything I promote on my blog, not even for the carrousel of books on my sidebar, so you can rest assured that my reviews are genuine.

Jesus is the Joy of Living

All it takes is a little indication of darkness to make us appreciate the light.

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

(2 Corinthians 4:6)

While it may be true that living for God (or even living by godly principles) will keep you from making major mistakes, and will result in many blessings, God's grace is best proved when held against the challenges of life on our evil-saturated planet.

Life can make one's knees rattle until they knock together vehemently. We feel as though we have been pushed to the edge of a deep abyss, the wind is pelting us with cold rain, wet strands of hair fly into our eyes and we can not tell just how close we are to actually falling.

God's promises become so precious to us at these times--exhausted and helpless, we cry for relief, and He answers at just the right time.

Then comes the miracle. When we should be at the bottom of the ditch, bloodied and covered with dirt, we look up to see we are sheltered, warm and dry, under the shadow of His wings, as we mount up and out of the grasp our afflictions.

It was in the wilderness, that David, while fleeing King Saul, discovered God's grace was made perfect through his weakness. It was when Ruth and Naomi were facing poverty and starvation that God's plan of faithfulness was revealed; from which the very seeds were planted for the derivation of Son of Man. In the same way, Jesus departed the desert weak in His body, yet full of the power of the Holy Spirit after being tried and tested beyond human strength by the craft of the adversary, the devil, ultimately winning for us the final victory over sin.

What are we facing today? Is there too little in the cupboards? Are there too many little hands grasping for a hold--with too few hands to hold them? Are you too weak to even hold your own head in your hands?

Jesus understands. He was a "man of sorrows and acquainted with grief". He is nearer to you in these times than at any moment you may have been shouting His praises during your time of joy on the mountain top.

The wonderful thing--He has paid it all, He holds it all, you can rest. Rest in His righteousness, rest in His goodness. Give it all up to Him and finally and completely rest.

Isaiah 57:15:

For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name [is] Holy; I dwell in the high and holy [place], with him also [that is] of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.

Isaiah 61:1:

The Spirit of the Lord GOD [is] upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to [them that are] bound;

If you have trusted in the Lord (leaning your entire personality on Him in absolute trust in His power, wisdom and goodness--through Jesus, the only begotten Son of God), then His precious promises are all yours, but the enemy of your soul hates you. Things may not be as bleak as they seem--allow God to open your eyes to see the continual feast of Himself--the Presence of His Holy Spirit to comfort and strengthen you--no power of hell below or earth or heaven above can separate us from Him--hallelujah!
 

Jesus is the Joy of Living

By Alfred H. Ackley (Exerpt)

Life is growing rich with beauty,

Toil has lost its weary strain,

Now a halo crowns each duty,

And I sing a glad refrain,

 

Jesus is the Joy of Living,

He's the King of Life to me;

Unto Him my all I'm giving,

His forevermore to be.

I will do what He commands me,

Anywhere He leads I'll go;

Jesus is the Joy of Living,

He's the dearest Friend I know.

Questions for the large family mother

Some things I often wonder about...

Why do my little girls use an egg-beater on their hair every night when they sleep so that it takes a pitch-fork to brush it every morning?

How do my little girls sleep at all when they all pile into one bed and are inter-twined like puppies in a litter?

Why is it that we can't find any toothbrushes, hairbrushes, or socks until we buy new ones and all the old ones magically show up?

Why did someone place our old digital camera in that coat pocket so we wouldn't find it for 7 months?

Why weren't the complete set of keys I lost 2 or more years ago also in that same pocket?

How is it that our noisy, sometimes chaotic, household will run like a well-oiled machine when a guest is over?--why can't it be an everyday occurrence?

Why is it that teen-aged girls don't eat at all, and teen-aged boys eat you out of house and home?

Why is it that the relatives brag about our large family to their friends, but complain about our largeness in our presence?

Why do people actually want our children to be "socialized"?

Since when did it become a bad thing to be "Biblical"?

If one's procreative life is a private issue, why are people always prying into ours?

Why are people always asking whether or not we're "done" having children? Do they think we expected 15 children to be "enough"?

Why don't the birth-control people ever tell you just how wonderful, joyful and fulfilling it is to be the mother of many children?

Who made up the lie that having children ruins your health? Why do we believe that children ruin marriages?

Why do people believe that not having children will keep a woman young? Why do people believe that having children will make a woman fatter or older or more wrinkled than she would be anyway?

If I use blue-tinted window cleaner instead of green-tinted window cleaner, will I destroy the planet?

How many lives will I save if I buy the cereal in the pink box as opposed to the normal box?

Isn't the moniker "Christian feminist" an oxymoron?

And this is just a sample of what goes on in the spaghetti in my head!

A visit to the park before dusk, and other things...

It was a beautiful day for the beginning of December--warm enough to walk outside barefoot (my favorite mode of transportation).

Our morning was used for our customary "super-clean Friday". I reserve this time to get to the "unders" of my household cleaning. The children switch-up zones and everyone is expected to get under beds, in cupboards, under sinks, etc. Along with our daily cleaning routines, we keep our house pretty clean.

I love super-cleaning. It is therapy for me. I pray and think and work out problems while I am wiping down all of the door jambs, vacuuming in all the "nooks, crannies and corners" (ask my kids how many times I have repeated these words to them!), organizing books and washing windows. While cleaning, I play my Christian music loudly, other times the house is quiet. I take little helpers with me, and so do some of the other children.

But the day was so warm--the sunshine was turning the leavings of the now-dormant grass into a fragrant perfume, and even the little sparrows were begging us to come out, so after a few hours I relented and sent all of the children outside while I put on some finishing touches. It wasn't too long before I found myself outside as well--sitting on the deck and reading through the newest issue of Above Rubies Magazine (if you don't receive this magazine--you really should!).

We finally made our way back inside--the baby kicked and screamed when we brought her in (we are working on a bit of spoiledness--she's the last of 15!). After finishing the cleaning, a nice lunch, and some quiet time, Daddy took us to the park--an hour before dusk.

What a memory we created. Even Daddy and I were swinging! We chased each other in all sorts of forms of "tag". The park was completely ours, so we whooped and hollered all we wanted as we watched God paint a gorgeous sunset, complete with clouds formed in all sorts of sureal shapes by the frigid winter atmosphere. On the way home, in our 15-passenger-van, we sang to Christmas music on the radio. Everyone enjoyed the bright and colorful Christmas lights and laughed along with our delighted baby's animated reactions.

At home we ate a kids' dinner--rare chicken nuggets, potato chips and grapes. I started reading aloud the Westminster Shorter Catechism from my newly acquired copy of The New England Primer (thanks, Honey!)--this little book is so packed with all sorts of nifty things--alphabets, reading exercises, prayers, scriptures in rhyme, etc.

We wrapped things up with a movie Daddy checked out for us from the library.

I have read that, with every time of trying, God never leaves us comfortless. I am sure we would not be alone if we were to describe some of the trials we are facing--I have read in the Psalms something to the effect that "the afflictions of the righteous man are many, but the Lord delivers him out of them all" (Psalm 34:19). So glad his comforts were ours today!

A sweet poem entitled, Tied Down, an excerpt from the book, The Path to Home, by Edgar A. Guest (1881-1959) expresses our view of the blessing and reward of children.

Tied Down, by Edgar A. Guest

"They tie you down," a woman said,
Whose cheeks should have been flaming red
With shame to speak of children so.


"When babies come you cannot go
In search of pleasure with your friends,
And all your happy wandering ends.
The things you like you cannot do,
For babies make a slave of you."


I looked at her and said: "'Tis true
That children make a slave of you,
And tie you down with many a knot,
But have you never thought to what
It is of happiness and pride
That little babies have you tied?


Do you not miss the greater joys
That come with little girls and boys?
"They tie you down to laughter rare,
To hours of smiles and hours of care,
To nights of watching and to fears;
Sometimes they tie you down to tears
And then repay you with a smile,
And make your trouble all worth while.


They tie you fast to chubby feet,
And cheeks of pink and kisses sweet.
"They fasten you with cords of love
To God divine, who reigns above.
They tie you, whereso'er you roam,
Unto the little place called home;
And over sea or railroad track
They tug at you to bring you back.
The happiest people in the town
Are those the babies have tied down.


"Oh, go your selfish way and free,
But hampered I would rather be,
Yes rather than a kingly crown
I would be, what you term, tied down;
Tied down to dancing eyes and charms,
Held fast by chubby, dimpled arms,
The fettered slave of girl and boy,
And win from them earth's finest joy."

Planting seeds of joy

I have been a homeschooling mom (officially) for the last 22 years. I have launched six children into the wide, wide world. I have seen them soar, and sometimes crash and burn. When they are riding high, I beam. When they falter, or when they colide with the chastening side of God the Father, their pain is shared and my heart wants to break.

They are only human beings, after all. Holiness and maturity cannot be inherited, and homeschooled children are no exception, although we hope they have a bit of a headstart. The choices are still theirs, and the same sinful nature and deceiver meet them at every turn as with all other young people.

But I am not daunted. Even after all these years and all these children, I am still as dedicated and excited as when I first began, but for more of the right reasons than ever before.

I have notebooks filled with notes about homeschooling and education in general. I have read volumes on the subject, and have shelves filled with homeschooling books.

But after what amounts to years of study and consideration, I have finally come to the underlying reason I continue to homeschool; I simply love it!

I guess it really doesn't matter whether or not my children turn out to be geniuses that put public schooling to shame. It turns out that I don't even care how much more "holy" it makes us look. I do it all for pure enjoyment.

It doesn't seem to be the sinful, selfish sort of enjoyment. No, this is the sort of happiness that is totally God-approved. Every morning when I wake up I sense His pleasure in it all. Of course I believe it is Biblical to take every moment to train one's children, but I also know that this may look different for every parent--I just happen to be blessed enough to live a life dedicated to the process.

I began homeschooling because I couldn't get enough of my children, and I didn't want to share them with total strangers who may or may not have their best interests at heart. I guess I could be acused of being selfish, but I don't care. I had the chance to spend almost every waking moment with my older children as they were growing up, and I wouldn't change one milisecond. Because of this, I have very few regrets as to my parenting. I was an imperfect, ignorant, immature human being, but I was also dedicated, and I was delighted in them, which I showed by pouring my whole heart into them, every day. I knew I couldn't give my children everything, but I knew I could offer them everything I had to give.

I remember the hours we spent discovering so many things--places on the map, times in history, answers and questions and all sorts of other things--I was present through it all. When the lightbulbs lit up, I basked in the wonderful glow!

And I'm so glad we chose to trust God for more children, and eternally grateful He chose to add more to us. Now in my late 40's I still enjoy a baby's giggle, have a preschooler to play with, and watch my 6-year-old as the world of reading opens up for her. The young people and I under my roof, be they 12, 14, 16 or 17 years old, have wonderful discussions and times creating and finding understanding together.

Life is harsh, and full of tragedy. Even if we plan correctly, keep out of debt, eat all the right ingredients, etc., things will happen to us that will ruin all our efforts and try and steal our joy. Our modern living tends to magnify even the minor nuisances of life and creates calamity as we are swept along with the current of our disintegrating culture.

Homeschooling has kept everything in the right perspective for us. Even in an urban setting, it has afforded us the ability to live slowly, digesting life in smaller bites, masticating thoroughly every passage and every nuance of our living on our journey homeward.

We dress differently, eat differently, talk differently, think differently. It just happens this way as we rediscover what it means to walk without needing constant outside input. This entails becoming integral to who we are without "props"--without needing someone or something else to tell us who we are, save the Holy Spirit as He leads us daily (and who but the Maker to help His creations find their essence?).

My children may not all grow up to turn the world upside down, but I am confident that the seeds we have planted in them over the years will reap a great harvest, one that will live on even into eternity.

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