Speak Gently--Part Two

Our Anna, now 20, has always been a person of few words. Even at the age when most babies sing and babble, she would be found quietly observing with her wide, beautiful eyes.

Anna has also been known to be stubborn, sometimes irrationally so. I believe that both her quietness and stubbornness come from a deep-seated confident assurance that cannot be easily shaken.

Children love Anna, and so do parents. Our older girls are often asked to watch other people's children during times of ministry. Our dear daughter has the uncanny ability (without raising her voice) to take a group of roudy youngsters and, with cheerfulness, bring order and enjoyment to the whole group by presenting a pleasant alternative.

When our little Lorilee was an infant and had been on a crying jag, Anna grabbed her up and said sweetly, "Don't cry, crying is silly!" and our baby, who would not be consoled, instantly hushed and smiled. Anna has been given the gift of a firm, yet absolutely tranquil spirit.

But most of us are not like Anna. Not many of us possess the natural ability to command our own emotions and thereby bring peace to a factious situation. The issue that concerns many of us as mothers is our tendency to raise our voices and become angry with our children. It causes us concern, shame, even heart-felt sadness.

First of all, I do not believe that all anger is sin. I also do not believe that all yelling is sin.

God becomes angry--the Bible is full of examples--

And they caused their sons and their daughters to pass through the fire, and used divination and enchantments, and sold themselves to do evil in the sight of the LORD, to provoke him to anger. Therefore the LORD was very angry with Israel, and removed them out of his sight: there was none left but the tribe of Judah only. (2 Kings 17:17-18)

There is a place for "righteous indignation", but we are cautioned never to let it get the better of us and cause us to sin by unnecessary injury to others. In our position as godly mothers, we must never allow our own anger, even if it is warranted, to do permanent physical or emotional harm to our children.

I would like to add something here. I do not believe that every time we exhibit anger our children are harmed forever--sometimes our children need to understand that they have invoked our displeasure, and perhaps the displeasure of God as stated in His word. Parents cannot afford to operate with timidity when it comes to disciplining their children--this undermining of authority brings more confusion and damage than anything else, in my humble opinion.

In fact, I believe that the root of what causes us to blow up and resort to anger when attempting to get control of a situation or a child is rooted in insecurity.

Anna is a prime example of what being secure will do in a parent-child relationship. Children listen to her because she doesn't say anything she doesn't mean (this is the wonderful consequence of being a woman of few words). They intuitively understand her by her intestinal fortitude, from which all her emotions and decisions eminate and are forged into steel. There is no moving her, no wavering on her part.

Most of us are not born with Anna's natural self-assuredness. We tend to change in our convictions and affirmations from one hour to the next, according to the need of the moment and/or our emotional state. This is why fathers tend to have a unique ability to garner respect from their children; they tend to be neither emotional nor "whishy-washy".

False guilt is one of the reasons many mothers lack confidence in the discipline and correction of their children. In our effort to want what is best for our children we have been falsely led to believe that we are doing them harm by using firmness in setting boundaries and even consequences for their misbehavior, when, in reality the very opposite is true.

We also don't correct our children with loving firmness due to our own selfish desire to be liked by them. In our attempt to meet our own "needs" we get in the way of God-directed parenting. We have forgotten to take up our cross and realize the wonderful privilege we have to lay down our lives for our children.

Sometimes, not wanting to be bothered by them, we choose to please ourselves when our children get in the way of our immediate interests--whether it be talking on the phone, going out with friends, crafting, computer time, or even getting some needed sleep (as mothers we know this is often a luxury, don't we?).

After a season of neglecting to correct with confidence and finality, our children become the typical, out-of-control youngsters that cause us to lose control. Since we have set a boundary for ourselves that we will give them no corporal punishment when angry, we choose, instead, to use the lashing of our tongue, in derogatory terms and hateful tone--at ear-piercing volume--to correct them. Then we traverse through another season of guilt and remorse in which we over-compensate with sweetness and timidity which ultimately brings confusion and greater disrespect to us. Consistent accountability with love is required when training children.

Common fear and worry are also some of the obvious sources of anger we extend to our children. Money, relationship, and health concerns can cause us to tense up and react to those around us. It is at these times that we not only raise our voices, but also use expletives to punctuate our points. Like Cain, we give in to a frustrated spirit which leads to devastating results.

It is impossible to deal with this type of "blowing it" without looking at the root cause. We need to be meditating on God's faithfulness, and learning to trust, be thankful for, and rejoice in all circumstances! The description of the word "faith" found in the Amplified Bible has helped me tremendously here.

Faith: the leaning of my entire personality on God in complete confidence of His wisdom, power and goodness.

Outside pressure can also cause us to errupt in many instances.

I am reminded here of how in the animal kingdom--mothers react negatively to prying eyes. These creatures must have privacy in order to care for their little ones. It is sad that we have been deceived to believe that we need some sort of "village" in order to raise human babies. Every new expectant mother soon learns of the many "opinions" that exist in society regarding child rearing, as she receives unsolicited input from a myriad of "experts". It can be overwhelming. Then, after the baby is born, she hears the noise of all these voices rushing in to confuse her.

One dear new mother came to church and cried uncontrollably for hours because she was sure she could not be "perfect" enough, and was so concerned she would do irreversible harm to her child at any moment without realizing it. She was the victim of too many "concerned" women giving her conflicting advice.

This is why our relationship with God must be our anchor. More than any governmental or church authority, it is He with whom we have to do, and He just happens to be our best Mentor and Encourager. If we can discipline and calm ourselves so that we can hear His voice speaking to us and directing us, we won't be way-laid by all of the voices out there telling us to chase after all of the new and urgent "requirements" of whatever parenting style is currently "in vogue"--and, believe me, societal parenting ideas change with the seasons. Staying away from gossip, griping circles and women's magazines (even most blogs) will also keep us from this sort of confusion.

Comparing ourselves with others will also lead us to react. I am thinking specifically here of all of the shows recently aired about large families on cable TV. It is so easy to feel as though we, our spouses, and our children are somehow not measuring up to the impossibly high standards we see on the television screen. While it is possible to come away from these programs with renewed convictions and hope, we can also become discontented with our lives and attempt to bring ourselves and our families up to a false sense of perfection on earth, and, in our consequent dissappointment, lash out with an angry, controlling disposition.

Again, being thankful and content will go a long way towards helping us become the mothers of our dreams, and having well-behaved children. We need to appreciate our circumstances, our husbands, and even ourselves for who they (we) are, and allow God to feed, nurture and provide for our needs, even though all we have to work with are a few fish and loaves.

In summary, we simply need to get out of the habit of raising our voices. It is just like any other habit we have developed. It is always more effort at first, but as we perservere, it becomes easier. As anyone who has overcome substance abuse will attest, any bad habit is first fought in the moment, by the hour, then by the day.

Confess to God every night, forgive yourself, then wake up each morning with a clean, fresh and vibrant slate.

Begin by making a mental list of thankfulness, then smile and approach your children confidently and cheerfully envisioning them as Jesus Christ sees them through His grace.

Learn to discipline yourself by taking advantage of healthy food and adequate sleep, instead of indulging in junk-food and using sleep time for "fun" so that you will begin to feel better about life from a physical standpoint. Make the effort to get regular exercise and play with your children.

Turn off the computer and put down the hobby or book and just listen when your little ones talk to you.

Don't put things off that could later cause problems.

Plan loosely to avoid frustrations without becoming disappointed if your plans fall through.

Keep life simple.

As my husband says, "Many todays have been spoiled by the worries of tomorrow". So true.

Trust God implicitly.

For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

(James 1:20)

Speak Gently--Part One

Speak gently! -- It is better far
To rule by love, than fear --
Speak gently -- let not harsh words mar
The good we might do here!


Speak gently! -- Love doth whisper low
The vows that true hearts bind;
And gently Friendship's accents flow;


Affection's voice is kind.
Speak gently to the little child!
Its love be sure to gain;
Teach it in accents soft and mild: --


It may not long remain.
Speak gently to the young, for they
Will have enough to bear --
Pass through this life as best they may,
'T is full of anxious care!


Speak gently to the aged one,
Grieve not the care-worn heart;
The sands of life are nearly run,
Let such in peace depart!


Speak gently, kindly, to the poor;
Let no harsh tone be heard;
They have enough they must endure,
Without an unkind word!


Speak gently to the erring -- know,
They may have toiled in vain;
Perchance unkindness made them so;
Oh, win them back again!


Speak gently! -- He who gave his life
To bend man's stubborn will,
When elements were in fierce strife,
Said to them, 'Peace, be still.'


Speak gently! -- 't is a little thing
Dropped in the heart's deep well;
The good, the joy, which it may bring,
Eternity shall tell.


David Bates


I found this poem in its condensed version in The Franklin Intermediate Reader and it was so helpful to me that I found the poem in its entirety to share here. I come from a long line of "o'l yellers"--among all the things God wants to set straight in our lives, the tendency to raise one's voice is one of them! As I listened to my dear daughter read the lesson I have quoted above, I was reminded once again just how impacting my mode of speech is on my sweet family members.

But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him: Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all. Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. (Colossians 3:8-17)

May the Good Shepherd grant to each of us His perfect peace during this Holiday season. (Isaiah 26:3)

Relatives and other bullies

A recent commenter's story almost made me cry. Because she has decided to homeschool her child, her mother-in-law is threatening to turn her in to the CPS for child abuse!

Raising a child well is not easy. It takes two people who are dedicated to losing their lives; who are willing to make choices that are not always understood in order to safeguard their child and their family, especially in our day of political double-speak and "un"family values.

But what if this couple is more dedicated than most? What if they are not just concerned with the basic requirements, but they are also concerned with the heart of their child?

You would think that everyone would rally around this couple, that they would congratulate them and bolster them and encourage them. But they don't.

And the relatives are the worst.

I don't think they mean to be--for the most part at least. They are just programmed to look at education and child-rearing in a certain way. Older folks, especially, like things the same; they like things that are uniform, without so many surprises, and who can blame them considering the explosion of technology and other changes in the world in the last 2 decades.

For many relatives who may not understand at first, there are ways to win them, especially if they are just genuinely interested. These are the precious type that you can sit down with and discuss, and they will actually listen with open hearts and minds. There are certain points that one can bring up that will help them to understand, but first remember not to put them on the defensive, like using situations in which they failed you as a child, etc. Also, be respectful of their age and position in your life. Pray, pray, pray for wisdom, then try this:

1) Give them a brief synopsis of true education--start with Sparta to Prussia to Massachusetts (use Gatto and others like him as a reference on this)

2) If they are Christians, explain to them the difference between a Greek education and a Hebrew one (Heart of Wisdom will help here) and explain the premise of public schooling (secular/humanist) and how you plan on bringing your children up with a Judeo-Christian world view (Voddie Baucham is great for this--here's a little YouTube that is pretty interesting).

3) Tell them that everyone is homeschooled to one extent or other--remind them of accomplishments in their own lives that were un-schoolish.

4) Assure their hearts by being able to articulate the educational direction your family plans to take--like what sorts of methods appeal to you (you don't have to get specific here--just the fact that you are able to explain things inteligently is enough for most people).

5) It also helps to throw in a few success stories and famous people--I like to begin with famous homeschooled people of the past, such as Edison, George Washington, etc. (Learn in Freedom has some wonderful resources for this purpose).

6) Be mindful of just where your audience has been; bring them up to speed s-l-o-w-l-y. New ideas take a while for anyone to grasp, I know that they took a while for me.

With all this having been said, there are difficult people in this world; people that will not listen or even attempt to understand. And there are also people that can only go so far--at a certain point they just cease to comprehend. Sometimes this can be fine, too. Lots of relatives just "agree to disagree", but don't let it go any further than that, and are often still supportive. These folks are honestly trying to be loving, even though you may not be able to share everything with them, the love relationship can still be intact.

Then there are others, and these are the ones that disrupt and threaten and plague. Once you make the announcement that you and your family will be implementing a cross-cultural lifestyle (such as homeschooling), harmony goes out the window. Every family gathering, every phone conversation, every natural passage of life becomes another opportunity for scrutinization. Your child will not be able to have a cold, or a lisp, or shoes that are untied without it being attributed to the "wierd" way you live.

Sometimes these relatives are nothing more than irritants, and usually they can be ignored and life still goes on.

But there are certain situations in which relatives meddle and disrupt and do damage to a family. They are arrogant and militant, and become bent on either convincing you or forcing you to "recant". They speak disrespectfully about you to your children. They threaten you. They ask prying questions and tell you horror story after horror story to try and discourage you. They might even give you money or gifts to support you one minute, and then use them to obligate you to listen to them as they attempt to tear you down.

I offer here a bit of advice in dealing with the last type of relative--don't! Don't think that you can sway them or that somehow you can convince them--your efforts will avail little. You must have as little contact with them as possible and turn them over to God. You won't do this to hurt them--but to protect the innocents under your roof.

Jesus directed His disciples this way--remember when he sent them out two-by-two? He told them not to waste time with those that didn't have ears to hear, but to shake the dust off their feet.

I have some very encouraging and understanding relatives, some that are just supportive, and still others that are antagonistic. I wasted a lot of time trying to convince the antagonist ones--even allowing them to pick on one of my late-blooming children until she would automatically throw up whenever she was around them--she is sensitive and sweet, which made it worse for her. How very stupid I was! Even though they are not allowed contact with our younger children, they still attempt to convince our older children that their parents are idiots--even after seeing how successful our children are--how sad!

How I wish that I had become wiser at a younger age--but I wasn't. First of all, I didn't always explain myself very well, and I automatically assumed that any opposition I received was a personal attack, instead of realizing that I needed to explain and be considerate and allow people to process. Secondly, I wanted to keep the peace at all cost--even if it meant that my own children were being abused and our lives were constantly being interrupted by the crises created through outside "interventions".

Perhaps someone reading this will learn from my mistakes and heartache--maybe you will be the one wise enough to put the welfare of your child above your need for "approval".

The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe. (Proverbs 29:25)

The study of Nature is not optional

The Harvest Moon

Our little 16-month-old Patience loves the moon. In fact, "moon" was one of her very first words.

Lorilee, a bright, energetic 3-year-old, came in the other day with a "bouquet" of cottonwood leaves turned yellow due to the Autumn season. Together we marvelled that they were so large (4" across), their wax-like feel and the myriads of veins running throughout each leaf.

This last summer we spent a few nights laying out on the deck enjoying the part of the Milky Way that can be seen with the naked eye from our house. We even took our handy-dandy constellation wheel and spotted a few of these star constellations ourselves.

My 14-year-old son, Ryan, loves bugs--always has. So in our pursuit of Entomology this summer we discovered he could preserve some of the insects by freezing them. He would travel down to the marshes around our home and capture all sorts of exciting specimens, carefully put them in a Ziploc bag and place them in the freezer, then, after an appropriate period, bring them out for all of us to enjoy. I am still amazed at how the wings of a dragonfly connect to its body.

Recently we checked out an excellent video called God of Wonders from Eternal-Productions. For a little over an hour we were blown away, and we couldn't help cheering and clapping and feeling great awe and wonder over the God who created all things. We were doing what King David exhorts us to do--we were MAGNIFYING the name of the Lord!

O magnify the LORD with me,

and let us exalt his name together.  (Psalm 34:4)

Creation is not just incidental to our lives, and it is certainly not just incidental to children. The wonder and awe of even the smallest child when presented with the things God has made is a testimony to the message God is trying to get across to each of us, the pinnacle of His earthly artistry shouts of his wisdom and eternal existence!

God is saying that, although He is all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-present, He is also loving, protecting and caring. He has not only taken care of our basic needs, but He is taking care of our need for beauty and aesthetic comforts. Beauty and complexity mark everything He creates.

I remember vividly a trip I took to West Berlin during the time of the Iron Curtain and the Cold War. The "free" part of this city was encapsulated entirely by communist-controlled East Germany. The contrast between the two parts of this city was illustrative of the effects of the God-consciousness on one society as opposed to the consequences of the other which vehemently denied His existence.

A view over the Berlin Wall into East Berlin

West Berlin was full of color and life. Everything from the buildings, signs, gardens and even the streets seemed to purposely flaunt the freedoms found there. On the other side of the barbed-wire, East Berlin was dismal, foreboding and dark. Minimal activity, few cars or people could be seen, even in the middle of the day. Every building was an empty grey color, and even the people that could be observed were wearing maudlin colored clothing and their walk seemed slightly stooped, as if they were carrying a heavy burden.

The communists were the first to believe one could do away with God altogether and base whole societies on materialism. The Bible was considered a book of lies and fables. People were taught that their predecessors only believed in life after death because they were superstitious and had witnessed the gasses that rise from bodies as they decompose in public cemeteries. "Religion is the opiate of the masses" Karl Marx, the progenitor of Marxist-communism, had said. He believed that those in power simply used religion to keep people slaves, and he promised that the annihilation of Christianity would set mankind free.

But there is nothing more depressing than materialism. Nowhere is this more evident than when viewing a natural science show from an exclusively materialistic, evolutionist's viewpoint.

One nature program I viewed on a well-known cable channel discussed why some dolphins naturally twist in the air before plunging back into the water. The scientists were scratching their heads as to why they would have developed such a "dancing" technique. Their postulations were laughable--they had only the premise of evolution to guide them. They speculated that the way they splashed into the water made different bubble patterns which, they concluded must be communication to the other dolphins! Why couldn't it be, that God, in celebration of His creation, wanted us to enjoy these dolphins and their playful antics?

In evolutionary theory, only those things that are necessary for survival should be practiced by the animal world. This is why we have been taught to believe that birds and flowers are colorful due to reproduction, not because a loving Creator wanted to delight His creatures.

God even anticipated that we would be able one day to go further into space and deeper into the cell, molecule and atom. The enormity of the universe and the complexity of the smallest elements of life and matter all declare Him as who He is!

A perched Copper-rumped Hummingbird

Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them. For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: (Romans 1:19-20)

Concentrating on all aspects of nature is the surest way of softening our hearts to Him. If you are like me, taught from a young child that evolution was true and that evolutionary scientists were the only ones to be trusted, then you will need to be re-educated along with your children as to the truth of the creation of the universe.

It is not by accident that creation has been expunged from all public discourse. Ultimately, the devil wants to steal our inclination towards God from us even from the earliest ages; from those times when we are little and are amazed by dandelions, spider webs and thunderstorms. If all these things can be explained away as being just responses to the environment, or chemical or physical phenomena, then parts of us die to listening to the call of God on our lives.

This is why nature study is not an "option" for us as parents, even if we are not able to homeschool, especially if we do not homeschool. Every effort must be made to keep that wonder alive, and point our children to the awesomeness of our God.

Fortunately for us, there are plenty of resources in existence to aid us in our task, and they are all delightful, energizing, and encouraging for the entire family.

Here are a few of my favorites (there are many more, just too little time to list them all!):

Handbook of Nature Study Blog. One of the best things about this site is the sounds of nature in the background! You will find all sorts of nifty things here.

Answers in Genesis. Where would we be without the work of this one man, Ken Ham? He and all those associated with this ministry have done so much to aid us all in the expression and validation of those things we already know deep in our hearts.

Moody Publishers. This is the producer of a series of movies that showcase the wonders of God's creation. They have been around for a number of years and can be bought from numerous sources, even found second-hand. We have even been able to check these out from our local library!

Eternal Productions is a new resource for us. Their videos are engaging and professionally done--we have had such a wonderful time viewing them!

The Privileged Planet was introduced to us by our dear Uncle William. It answers a lot of those pesky questions that come up when one is speculating as to our place as a planet in the universe (you can watch this whole film on YouTube). One of the authors sited, Dr. Guillermo Gonzalez, has received a lot of flack for his part in developing scientific theories that support Intelligent Design.

Praise ye the LORD. Praise ye the LORD from the heavens: praise him in the heights.
Praise ye him, all his angels: praise ye him, all his hosts.
Praise ye him, sun and moon: praise him, all ye stars of light.
Praise him, ye heavens of heavens, and ye waters that be above the heavens.
Let them praise the name of the LORD: for he commanded, and they were created.
He hath also stablished them for ever and ever: he hath made a decree which shall not pass.

Praise the LORD from the earth, ye dragons, and all deeps:
Fire, and hail; snow, and vapour; stormy wind fulfilling his word:
Mountains, and all hills; fruitful trees, and all cedars:
Beasts, and all cattle; creeping things, and flying fowl:
Kings of the earth, and all people; princes, and all judges of the earth:
Both young men, and maidens; old men, and children:
Let them praise the name of the LORD: for his name alone is excellent; his glory is above the earth and heaven.
He also exalteth the horn of his people, the praise of all his saints; even of the children of Israel, a people near unto him. Praise ye the LORD.

Psalm 148

Our old-fashioned education

Someone recently asked me how our old-fashioned education is going. I am happy to report that I love it more than ever!


Here is a little of what we try to do each day:

Ray's Arithmetic series is my favorite! I am doing the problems in the Intellectual book alongside my children, and I am blessed by the clarity and organization of Ray's methods. I am also being stretched in what I have read in order to successfully instruct each student. I am enjoying using Ray's Primary with my 8yo, this book is done completely orally--why did schools ever abandon these wonderful books?


The readers are invaluable. I love sitting and hearing my 8yo read to me stories containing the Gospel message. The second reader is so wise in its introduction of words that are basic to reading and writing, and yet everything is so simply laid-out that we can be as creative as we want with each lesson. Spencerian Penmanship is proving to be creative and relaxing, as well as even improving the handwriting of the boys.


The children are required to have 25 problems of math done each day, a reading lesson and a writing of a narrative, copying, etc. of the same, sometimes with an oral spelling test. We try and do a penmanship lesson as often as we can. I have the children read aloud from their writings and lessons. Sometimes I will substitute something that I find interesting or appropriate at the time.

I am alternately using the McGuffey Primer and the Johnson's Primer with my 6yo. We read and re-read the lessons until she is confident (making sure we are spending no more than 15 minutes a day in concentrated work), then I have her copy 4 or 5 words after me in her composition book, and then, afterwards, she makes a little box and draws a picture and colors it with a special set of colored pencils.


I have an old 1940's Number Stories book that I use with my primary students, but she is almost finished with that one, so I am leaving the rest of that for a later date.


---------------------------

When our space program was thinking about sending astronauts to other planets, they were concerned about the problem of having enough food for the trip. They thought they could just feed the astronauts vitamins, thus saving all the weight and precious cargo space that would otherwise be necessary. They experimented with feeding some test subjects only vitamins and water--the results were dismal! They soon discovered that there are elements in food that nourish our bodies in ways we don't quite understand, so it would be impossible to fit all these into a tiny tablet. The test subjects languished and the experiment was resoundingly abandoned.


What does this have to do with homeschooling? I expect that what my children learn on their own all day long is their actual education, what we do together is the primer to help them in their own studies--and they are, indeed, studying and learning in all sorts of other areas; character, handicrafts, history, etc.


Our "table time", as Marilyn Howshall puts it, takes only a small portion of their total study time. I am of the opinion that any program of learning which takes hours and hours away from a child being able to work hard and study on his own is not advantageous to the child, but harmful. Attempting to fit all that a child will need to know in a few books is like trying to feed him the marvelous information and wisdom of the entire world into a minuscule pill and expecting that he should be satisfied. Education done in this way is distasteful and ineffective.


I am using what I have gleaned over many years from all the writers I have loved;  John Taylor Gatto, Charlotte Mason, Ruth Beechick, Marilyn Howshall, Dr. Raymond and Dorothy Moore, and now  Ray and McGuffey, etc.

From Gatto (picture right)--school methods always have an agenda--don't mimic them. Expect that your children want to be their best selves. Use involvement in real life to encourage them to go further in their studies (guerrilla curriculum).


From Charlotte Mason--form good habits. Use real literature to teach things like spelling, grammar, etc. Use nature to enthuse and interest your children. Don't overload children with bookwork too soon.

Ruth Beechick--more of the same. Learn things yourself so that you can know them when they come up naturally with your children.


From Marilyn Howshall--take time to take a step back and prepare yourself to hear the voice of God in all your home school decisions, believing He is your Source. Instead of doing the work for your children, let them discover for themselves. Replace workbooks with notebooks they create themselves.

From the Moore's--don't be afraid to wait until a child is ready for formal learning, which could be pretty late, depending on the child--especially for boys. When they finally take off, it will be a wondrous sight to behold, and it will take relatively little time for them to come up to speed.


Make sure they have hard, meaningful work to do (such as household chores or a home business). Don't allow them to spend too much time with their peers--get them involved with older people who have some actual wisdom. Allow them to follow what delights them.

Ray's and McGuffey--Slow it all down and make it simple. Train the young mind to think mathematically before thrusting it into the understanding and instruction of higher math. Trust the learner. Be strict in the basics, and don't dumb them down. Give them meat instead of pablum and they will rise up to it. The Bible and the Gospel are not just incidental to education; they are its center and its very purpose.


These are just my impressions in a nutshell, but I am always amazed at how these different writers agree with each other and balance each other.


Here are a few of my own maxims:


Simplicity with diligence--this applies to my whole life, not just homeschooling. We can never have it all, and never at the same time. We need to take what we have at hand, and then apply attention and hard work to it. This will keep us from over-buying, over-working, over-stressing, etc.


Prepare first for Heaven, then for life, then for vocation and pleasure. We have been falsely led to believe that the opposite should be applied; prepare for vocation and pleasure, then for life, then for Heaven. A child could end up in Heaven at any time--he should always be prepared. If he does not know how to live, including how to get along with others, maintain himself and his belongings, pay his bills, etc. then his life will be a mess from the very beginning. With this foundation laid, he then trains himself for a vocation or avocation; he will then be successful on all sides.


Our whole society is in decline because we have put the cart before the horse.


And here is something to bear in mind; rather than being results-oriented, our primary focus should be to train our children to become obedient and respectful to authority.

Many pioneer homeschoolers believed that if one brought their children home, they would take all the wonderful efforts of their parents and use them to live better, more godly lives. While this is generally true, it is not absolutely true. Yes, my children are by-and-large better off than they would have been if we had not home-educated them. They are kinder to children, they love older people, and they work harder and are more responsible than their peers. But they are all still human beings. They each have sin natures and often make decisions based on their respective levels of maturity.


The most important part is obedience. I believe that God has given us a mandate in Malachi 4:5-6,

See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the Lord comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse.

And Luke 17:1-2 states:

Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.

We must do all we can to allow Him to turn our hearts to our children--and then we can instruct them to keep from being offended (Biblically this means to "turn away from a destructive path or course"). By doing so, we demonstrate our own obedience to God.


Most of us have found that homeschooling is the easiest way to keep our parenting in agreement with God's Word. Keeping in mind that everyone's situation is unique, and that there are countries in which homeschooling is still illegal, and there are families in which the mother or father find themselves alone with few alternatives to the public school route. We must pray and trust God to show us the way even in these difficult situations--He is faithful and will provide!

When we choose to home school our children as an expression of our obedience to Proverbs 22:6, "Train a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.", God remains ultimately in charge of their lives. We must not forget this.

While we are responsible for what they do while under our authority, God takes them for the remainder of their lives, and we can trust Him to finish the work.