Weakness

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

When a jumbo jet is empty, it takes a huge hose from some colossal underground tank and hours to fill. Today I feel like that thirsty engine. I woke up without any feelings of wonder, without a sense that to day would be filled with hope or joy. Fear wanted to be my companion.

Where there is fear, there are also so many other horrid things. Anger and depression sprout and flourish when I succumb to the taunts of the enemy, doubting the help of God. My first reaction is to take situations “by the horns” and wrestle them down with my own strength. The results are not always disastrous, but they leave me cold and empty. When I am capable, I write the Holy Spirit right out of my script.

If it were my goal to keep everything in check and live a problem-free life, I would never have surrendered to have so many children. Children create messes and problems. They are costly in time and emotional energy.

Today I am too weak to face all of that. David had many days like this. He was a king, and dealt with people and situations far beyond his capability.

When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday.
Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.
My God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar. Psalm 42:4-6

Hannah Whitall Smith says:

The law of the spiritual life is that divine strength will be made perfect in human weakness. Our part is to supply the weakness; God’s part is to supply the strength. We are, however, continually trying to usurp God’s part and to supply the strength ourselves. Because we cannot do this, we are plunged into depths of discouragement. We think that in order to work effectively for the Lord, we ought to feel strong in ourselves, and when instead we find ourselves feeling weak we are in despair. But the Bible teaches us that, if we only knew it, our weakness is in reality our strength.

And what a strength my God is! Psalm 34 says, “O magnify the Lord with me”. This world is constantly telling me that God is little, or so far away that I can barely see Him. But He is great and mighty, and His help is always at hand. He is a refuge and a strong tower, and He lives to save us, both from ourselves and the devices of others. Romans 8:28 tells me that, no matter what, He will work it all for good. He is not limited like me, He can take even my mistakes and use them for His glory, and to bring myself and others closer to Him.

I thank You, Lord, that today I am weak. I need You so desperately. I do not believe the lies that You don’t want to help me. I believe that Your mighty hand will lift me up today. I ask for Your peace, and Your provision. Let me dwell in Your praise, and live in constant thankfulness. Let this morning be filled with Your praises, and let us all bow down to worship You in all we do. Dwell with us and dispel any chaos or confusion. May Your order reign, and may You route the enemies that are attempting to discourage us.

In the name of Your precious son, Jesus,

Amen.

Psalm 18

I will love thee, O LORD, my strength.
The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.
I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.
The sorrows of death compassed me, and the floods of ungodly men made me afraid.
The sorrows of hell compassed me about: the snares of death prevented me.
In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.
Then the earth shook and trembled; the foundations also of the hills moved and were shaken, because he was wroth.
There went up a smoke out of his nostrils, and fire out of his mouth devoured: coals were kindled by it.
He bowed the heavens also, and came down: and darkness was under his feet.
And he rode upon a cherub, and did fly: yea, he did fly upon the wings of the wind.
He made darkness his secret place; his pavilion round about him were dark waters and thick clouds of the skies.
At the brightness that was before him his thick clouds passed, hail stones and coals of fire.
The LORD also thundered in the heavens, and the Highest gave his voice; hail stones and coals of fire.
Yea, he sent out his arrows, and scattered them; and he shot out lightnings, and discomfited them.
Then the channels of waters were seen, and the foundations of the world were discovered at thy rebuke, O LORD, at the blast of the breath of thy nostrils.
He sent from above, he took me, he drew me out of many waters.
He delivered me from my strong enemy, and from them which hated me: for they were too strong for me.
They prevented me in the day of my calamity: but the LORD was my stay.
He brought me forth also into a large place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me.
The LORD rewarded me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands hath he recompensed me.
For I have kept the ways of the LORD, and have not wickedly departed from my God.
For all his judgments were before me, and I did not put away his statutes from me.
I was also upright before him, and I kept myself from mine iniquity.
Therefore hath the LORD recompensed me according to my righteousness, according to the cleanness of my hands in his eyesight.
With the merciful thou wilt shew thyself merciful; with an upright man thou wilt shew thyself upright;
With the pure thou wilt shew thyself pure; and with the froward thou wilt shew thyself froward.
For thou wilt save the afflicted people; but wilt bring down high looks.
For thou wilt light my candle: the LORD my God will enlighten my darkness.
For by thee I have run through a troop; and by my God have I leaped over a wall.
As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.
For who is God save the LORD? or who is a rock save our God?
It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect.
He maketh my feet like hinds' feet, and setteth me upon my high places.
He teacheth my hands to war, so that a bow of steel is broken by mine arms.
Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great.
Thou hast enlarged my steps under me, that my feet did not slip.
I have pursued mine enemies, and overtaken them: neither did I turn again till they were consumed.
I have wounded them that they were not able to rise: they are fallen under my feet.
For thou hast girded me with strength unto the battle: thou hast subdued under me those that rose up against me.
Thou hast also given me the necks of mine enemies; that I might destroy them that hate me.
They cried, but there was none to save them: even unto the LORD, but he answered them not.
Then did I beat them small as the dust before the wind: I did cast them out as the dirt in the streets.
Thou hast delivered me from the strivings of the people; and thou hast made me the head of the heathen: a people whom I have not known shall serve me.
As soon as they hear of me, they shall obey me: the strangers shall submit themselves unto me.
The strangers shall fade away, and be afraid out of their close places.
The LORD liveth; and blessed be my rock; and let the God of my salvation be exalted.
It is God that avengeth me, and subdueth the people under me.
He delivereth me from mine enemies: yea, thou liftest me up above those that rise up against me: thou hast delivered me from the violent man.
Therefore will I give thanks unto thee, O LORD, among the heathen, and sing praises unto thy name.
Great deliverance giveth he to his king; and sheweth mercy to his anointed, to David, and to his seed for evermore.