Why would you want all those kids?

Here I am on the eve of my birth. Last night was restless--I spent the first half re-reading through Ina Mae Gaskin's Spiritual Midwifery--can anyone say, "Positive energy"? I tend to relate it to "God's life" flowing through me during labor, the Presence of His Holy Spirit. This book is so full of practical advice, it helps in lots of ways.

The next part of the night was spent caring for two children with colds. Then off to bed for a few hours before sending Dear Husband off to work.

My husband and I lay cuddling and laughing together. It seems that, even though we have done birth together more times than most any couple will, we still find ourselves at a loss as to how to do it--we are reminded once again that we are not in control of our lives, but as we have surrendered, we know Who is in control, and we trust Him.

Later in the morning, after a little nap and our regular routine, two of my older daughters called. They said they were coming over to help--I was so glad! There isn't really a whole lot to do here, but it was just great to have some support. They came over and took their 16 year old sister out for a special time, since they figured she will be my main help in the next two weeks. They gave her some spending money and took her to the thrift store and Walmart. While they were gone, the sickies watched a movie, the middle kids played Monopoly, and I slept.

When they returned, they had gifts. Grace bought me chocolates and a watermelon, Anna brought a bag full of four little girl outfits, complete with bloomers and little pink slippers--how sweet. They are coming over tomorrow to give the kids a "party day" while we are in the hospital. The little kids are so excited!

I have spent the last few days just enjoying everyone. We have gone to the Nature Park and had a picnic, and discussed and played a lot together. It has been a good way to spend the time. The older kids told jokes and shared insights, the younger children giggled as we played tickle games.

And as I drove to pick my son up from work in the cool of the evening, I went through the children who have passed through me on their way into life. I thought of the uniqueness of each, their personalities, their passions, their identities, and my heart was overfilled with gratitude. I once again lifted their lives up to God.

It will be worth it tomorrow, when I am throwing up and pushing and leaking all sorts of fluids from everywhere. It will be worth it when that little body swooshes out and I feel her warm squishiness next to my skin, hear her cry of annoyance at having to breathe oxygen for the very first time. And her daddy will hold her close and welcome her and call her name in the way only he can, and our love affair with another little human will begin all over again.