What a waste!

A number of years ago someone asked me, I don't remember who it was exactly, "Why don't you have a job?"

I replied without thinking, "Because I'm not stupid."

The assumption is that, when you are a stay-at-home wife or mother, you are a waste. You are wasting your life, and your earning power. You must be incompetent or reclusive, with no ambition whatsoever.

I have ambitions--they just aren't corporate or fiduciary--they are private and familial. What luxuries to experience in this world! My days belong to me and my family--not to some overlord exacting his money's worth out of each minute.

Here are some of the things I want to attain to:

• Having a cheerful attitude, no matter what the situation, so that I can encourage others.
• Creating an atmosphere in my home that cheers other weary pilgrims on their journey Home.
• Adding some beauty to each day.
• Creating foods that feed both body and soul.
• Being ready at any time to serve--first my family and then others.
• Allowing the creative arts to flourish--both in myself and those that I love.
• Removing the distinction between the "sacred" and "secular"; learning to make everything consecrated to the Lord.
• Growing up people that will not lose sight of Jesus, but will be salt and light wherever they go.

I honestly believe these are the most important things I could be doing with my life. They don't bring any money in. They are not impressive. They won't earn me a Nobel prize, not even a gold star.

But what would my home be without them?

What if I were to be so drained from pouring my life out for someone else's dream that I had no more time and energy for such foolish, "meaningless" things?

A house can be wonderfully decorated, but still be empty and cold.

One can own cars and boats and go on fun vacations, and still feel disconnected and alone. There is only so much shopping you can do, only so much escaping until you run out of stuff and into the fact that life is meaningless without connections.

And working outside the home can give you a sense of connection, in lieu of the real type. But people at work or school rarely become the dear friends of life--they rarely want the relationship to go much farther than the obligatory Christmas party or occasional company picnic. How tragic to wake up at the end of one's career and stumble about in utter loneliness.

I look at my life--my days, my love and my energies--as investment capital. I could waste that capital in addictions to almost anything, and we all understand what a tragedy this is. I could spend my capital chasing after money, or at least physical comfortability--this is quite culturally acceptable and encouraged. But when I am old, will there be someone there to hold my hand when I am scared? If I have not invested in my husband or my children, can I expect that I will receive a dividend of care and love when I am the most needy? Or do I expect that my goods and my money will somehow comfort me when all others are gone?

Or I could take this capital and look at it in a totally different way. I could consider that it is not mine to spend at all, but it belongs to God.

So I choose to invest myself in higher things; I choose to invest my capital in a kingdom and economy that is not of this world. It looks like utter foolishness, I know, but God's ways tend to be like that.

But He says that whatever we sow, we reap. If I give and give, I will receive, both in this life and the life to come--that's what He says, and He doesn't lie. Actually, I have learned that in the giving there is a lot of receiving. Something eternal and holy happens when I am at the point of exhaustion and stroke the head of a feverish toddler. Something feeds me when I take time to calm the fears of a young adult, especially when I step back and let God do the comforting through me.

And when I am old--I won't be forgotten. Even if no one is around when I die, it will be with great satisfaction, as I lay down my burdens, a life well lived, with little or no regret, able to bring many people into heaven with me.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33