Preschool and Kindergarten

My carpet tells the truth about me.

In the room that holds the tiniest little girls, there is actually lettering, with reversals, written in permanent marker scrawled in the middle of the floor. I'm confident they will disappear with some alcohol and scrubbing, but I just haven't felt up to it.

We got rid of a set of wooden bunk beds last year that were over 20 years old. As we took them apart, we found the names of our older children scratched, often with misspellings, all over each board.

We have to check under the cushions of our bar stools periodically for discarded sandwiches, etc. that someone may have slipped away hoping to dishonestly earn some dessert.

I have to check in corners and under beds for clean clothing and toys that were stuffed in order to avoid some "work". Sometimes I might find a half-eaten candy bar or half-empty can of pop that was hidden because the perpetrator was discovered before they could finish off the "booty".

Raising children is not easy. There is very little "science" to it at all. Even after all these years and all these children, there is no way I could narrow it all down to a few paragraphs or even a few libraries filled with volume upon volume. Children misbehave, and they destroy things that are nice and meant for their pleasure and comfort. They yell and cry at all of the wrong times, and they are messy and often smell bad. If you care at all about them, you will have to work, work, and work some more to raise them right.

But they are wonderful, and they are worth it.

There are some reading this that are slinging it out right now. Having 3 little folks under 5 years of age, and then throwing in an illness or two, takes a lot of life.

Then, when parents decide to homeschool, the pressure mounts up. Not to mention that most other homeschooling families look like they have it all together--they homebirth and grow all their own food and never eat bread from the store, decorate and even change their sheets once a week! These pictures are not the reality, of course, but if we allow them our own illusions about the lives of others will chase us and hound us. 

We have been conditioned to believe that children need to have formal schooling as early as possible, or they will become "behind". When I was young, preschool was something that was being toyed with, and now it is almost considered a necessity.

But preschool and Kindergarten are not necessary for the educational development of children. These two "grades" were formulated because it is understood that the sooner a child becomes institutionalized, that is, pulled away from his parents, the more easily the propaganda of the culture is accepted, and the more easily the influence of parents is rejected. Preschool is little more than playing and learning institutional obedience. Kindergarten is not much above that.

When I decided to keep my first daughter home, my first inclination was not to formally "do" anything--just live life and let her develop and see how things went. But a well-meaning relative, one who already was sure I had jumped off the dock and was headed for the abyss, insisted on buying my first year's curriculum. 

When the box came I was excited. I loved flipping through the colorful texts and wanted to get started right away. 

It wasn't long before I was quite frustrated. The babies kept getting into everything or crying or the phone would ring. Worst of all, my daughter hated the materials and didn't catch on like she was supposed to. What a mess it was! 

Then I would get pregnant and sick, and the whole thing would seem to shut down for a while, except that it was in these times that things actually progressed. The children would then have fun just drawing and playing legos and exploring. Since I was pretty sedentary, I would read novels aloud to them--Little House on the Prairie, Old Yeller, and the like. It was during these times that I would research and find out that I could relax. 

And so I would like to offer some simple suggestions for those with many children up to age 7:

• Don't be afraid. You taught your child how to walk and talk, and reading isn't that complicated. Take the pressure off and you will do much better.
• Have these supplies on hand: Paper, scissors, glue, crayons, a cheap watercolor set (these items will cost you less than ten dollars during the "back to school" sales), some home-made salt dough, some picture books from the library or thrift store and a good set of phonics flash cards and number cards.
• Invest in a child gate. This is good to keep the kids "corraled" so that the mess they make is localized, instead of letting them have free reign over the whole house so that you never feel as though you can get anything accomplished!
• Keep food simple. We used to eat just 2 different breakfasts and lunches every day. The kids never got tired of them--and I always knew what to fix!
• Have a stash of snacks for yourself. I learned this after I went through a time of being about 10lbs underweight. I would feed the kids and then forget to eat!
• A good book to have on hand that will teach you how to teach reading is Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. My kids usually get tired of this book by lesson 50, but it lays a great foundation for more advanced reading. 
• Don't have a schedule, follow a routine. Prioritize--what are the most important things that need to be accomplished? First, people need to be fed 3 squares a day. They need to be clean and rested. They need clean dishes and clothes. They need to be loved and listened to. Only after these basics are accomplished should anything else be added. It doesn't matter that Suzie Q. runs all over town and volunteers at church--you are not responsible for her. God has given you your family and that is all you have to do for now. The outward-focused life is for another season. 
• Have paper, pencils and crayons always available, with parameters set up to prevent waste. One way I have done this is to tear my sheets of paper into quarters, and in this way if they make one scribble and decide to move on, the whole sheet is not wasted. 
• Save the messier supplies for "special" times. This preserves you and your house!
• Have daily "quiet time" after lunch and clean up--do this for your marriage as well as your own health.
• Keep media to a minimum. I don't allow computer time to children this age at all. Television (they don't watch cable or networks) is only for special times. 
• Read aloud daily, if at all possible. Even if it is the same book over and over. I think I have Green Eggs and Ham memorized almost completely. 
• Answering questions is about the best thing you can do. You are the walking book that a child refers to whenever he is puzzled. Count it as a privilege!
• Use the necessary errands of life as learning experiences. Tell them stories about your childhood and God and  sing together in the car. Teach them how to behave in public. Explain things to them as you are doing them so that they will feel included and important to you. 
• Teach them how to tie, whistle, blow bubbles, hopscotch, ride a bike, fold a towel. These are both fun and inexpensive activities and help them to develop the fine motor skills necessary for all the other stuff. 

If you just live and love your child, he will gain a much better education than he could ever receive during these years in some institutional setting or with some formal curriculum at home. It's not "parental perfection" but loving response that is key here.