The plans of mice and mothers

"We want God, as long as it does not inconvenience us."

We want the blessedness of surrender, but only with a great amount of control. We don't mind giving God a few blocks on our schedule, but, please, leave the rest to us!

I love surfing and reading about all of the lovely plans and planners of so many of us, but I am also frustrated slightly. My days are not my own. My dear husband has been home now for 2 years, and I have had to put my "schedule" on hold, especially as of late.

This is not comfort to me. I had run my house and my day, at least on week-days, for 20 years prior, and I liked it! I tend to be a methodical person, and plans meant a lot to me.

My husband, on the other hand, is more spontaneous, and loves to take me out with him on errands. So, out with my plans, and in with his!

This old dog has to learn some new tricks, like entrusting my whole "job" as homemaker to God, one item at a time, and allowing Him to work out the big picture.

I know that this is appropriate to write about, because this is just about the time in the homeschool year when things begin to bog down slightly; when we find out that the math or the phonics or the other things we had purchased or penciled into our calendars just aren't working. We find ourselves with reluctant readers, dawdling writers, and distracted listeners.

We can also experience life--like the unexpected move or illness or even a little baby that may appear. All of our planning and listing will not help. We have to trust.

I have lists and plans, which I even print up. But I have learned over many years that God has to be the Master of it all, and I have to be willing to change everything if He so wishes. I can't begin to tell you how painful this has been for me over the years, and how wonderful at the same time! My older children would not be as blessed as they are today if I had had my way. I can remember many times when I begged God to bless what I had decided to do, and then have my ideas thwarted, only to come back later and thank Him for not allowing me to succeed!

It's not just an organizational issue, it is a spiritual one. This is why homeschooling can be so helpful in our growth as Christians. We have to entrust our schedules and our homeschooling to God, just as Jesus trusted the care of Himself to a father He knew was trustworthy.

So don't be afraid. Fear allows all sorts of other evil things into our lives. Give it a break, and readjust. Take a day or two to de-stress and relax. If our goal is to turn out academic whizzes, we may turn out spiritually and emotionally bankrupt people.

Schools look so good, with all of the neat little projects and papers that they produce, but what they do to the minds and hearts of children is inconscionable! (read anything by John Taylor Gatto--it'll give you more reasons to trust God with education!) Don't try and emulate what is failing--reach for a higher goal.

If God is love, and we are trusting in Him, we can't go wrong.