What makes a house a home?

What makes a house a home? What does a home consist of?

1) People, and

2) Possessions

People use possessions or things, and things can be used to serve people, but individuals must learn to maintain and steward the material goods entrusted to them. The occupation of a good woman is to look after both equally.

If a mother and wife focuses excessively on "people", then possessions can become neglected and may no longer be used to serve her loved ones, because without due care and maintenance, they will ultimately cease to function properly. If she concentrates too much on all the stuff, the home will become a house—and not a home, simply a shell of emptiness where the life of the family can not continue to prosper.

There are physical limits of effort to which a woman is able or even willing to invest herself in the preservation of her home. All women function at a median capability. There are varying levels of commitment, where one's heart and soul become wholly devoted to a cause or purpose. The same is true regarding the home. Each of us can function with some degree of excellence at various times in our lives, according to a variety of situations.

The important thing is to recognize that our homes are not insignificant; they are truly foundational to the success and life of the family.

The home life you help to create is going to reverberate out into the world-at-large. This is why we have witnessed such moral disintegration within our society on every side. We as Christian women, have neglected to "keep the home fires burning" for much too long. When God fearing mothers were home mending, nursing and comforting, the world was a much better place. Neighbors cared because they were taught to be considerate of others. They took time for courtesy because their mothers and grandmothers taught them that it was very important to do so.

I acknowledge that callousness existed in former generations, and that no era is ever perfect, nevertheless, compared to the social morays of today the mid-twentieth-century was very benevolent!

Things have definitely changed since I was a young girl. I can still remember a time when it was taboo to even use the word "pregnant" openly, and yet my children are very familiar with terms, not curse words, but vocabulary now used for previously unmentionable things, that I never dreamed of as a child. In short, contemporary society has lost all propriety.

Our homes must once again become a haven. We must use things to serve people and teach people to properly steward things—and in so doing we can create a little bit of heaven on earth. Furthermore, we must protect our children’s innocence from the world.

It begins with prayer. Before we open our eyes, we must look up to heaven and fall upon our faces before the throne of God. "Unless the Lord builds the house, he labors in vain that builds it"—Psalm 127. I know that I cannot make a house a home unless I have the Spirit of God operating in me, guiding and correcting me. It is the Spirit of God’s place to convict and woo my spouse and children. I cannot "fix" things myself, only the Great and Awesome Creator God can bring things to completion. If I begin to try and use my own power to make everything "perfect" or even "good", I have the temptation of human pride which can lead to witchcraft (the attempt to manipulate or control people and situations to achieve my own perception of what is right).

Becoming a virtuous wife, mother and home-maker is a big task. I don't think that any position in the world comes close to it in challenge, commitment or technical ability. Anyone can sweep the floor or make the bed, but it takes an artist and an engineer to make a home beautiful, clean and functional. Almost any woman can give birth, but it takes a mother of great dedication to love and nurture a bond that can bear fruit for God for generations to come.

Don't give in to mediocrity. Even if no one else peeks into your windows and sees you, Jesus is there. Love as if you are trying to make Him smile. Clean as if He were living with you. Pray and sing praises as if your home was at the very throne of God. Most importantly, don't do it in your own strength, and certainly not because of the fear of man or to "impress" others. Do all things as unto Him!

Sometimes our efforts will look quite modest to those around us, like when we lay the mop and bucket down to read a story aloud (remember—“things” serve people).

Or when we put off a phone conversation with a girlfriend so that we can get the house in order before our husband arrives home, or when we wash the dishes even though our pregnancy nausea begs us to lie down. But all these things are known and not forgotten by our God who sees all. Our obedience becomes a sweet-smelling offering of worship to Him! 

(* This article was originally posted in July 2007.)