Resentment

It's an insidious enemy. It creeps up on you, especially on those days that you have the flu, or you really want to get a project done, or you are having fun talking with an old friend on the phone. The interruptions, complaints and demands of a our lives can create a crinkled, cold and even spikey heart if we don't keep a safe distance from.....

RESENTMENT!

Back when I had so many little ones underfoot, so much to do, so few hands to do it, I had a revelation. I was washing dishes one day when I felt a tug on my skirt. A little face beamed up at me and asked for a drink of water. I had a choice to either huff and brush the child off, or put my agenda second and take care of the need of my baby. Just then the Holy Spirit reminded me of Jesus' words, "If you give just a cup of water to the least of these my brethren, you give it unto Me." I knew then what my priorities would be if I was to serve Jesus as a mother.

Interruptions, fatigue, deprivation, heartache; these are part of a Christian's life. It doesn't matter where you serve Him, whether in Uganda or China or in your own home. We need to make the choice daily, even hourly; will we lay our lives down, or will we count ourselves dear and allow resentment to build up, resulting in a bitter, ugly life?

I choose joy. I choose forgiveness. I choose laying it down so that I can gain it. Yes, there are times when my tired self would rather sleep than comfort the one scared by a nightmare, or wait up for the young person out with friends, or love and cuddle with a husband who's had a hard day. I read about other women who take all day to clothes shop just for fun, or who have unlimited time to write or sculpt or vacation in the Bahamas. I know that somewhere someone is eating a warm dinner, in quiet, hearing nothing more than the melodic sounds of Chopin or Mozart, but these things are all of this life, of this earth that is passing away.

Jesus said that it doesn't matter that you should gain the whole world if it would cost your soul. I made the choice to count the cost with my life many years ago, when it was hard and I was alone with my convictions and my piles of dirty laundry and dishes (and loads of hugs, kisses, and giggles). I didn't know how things would turn out, but I knew that I loved God, and my greatest desire was to be yielded to Him.

It was worth it. I delighted in Him, and He has given me the desires of my heart. I grew up in a very lonely way, but God placed me in a family, a loving family that serves Him. Along the way He has also blessed me with wonderful people that care and love us all. Now I am tasting a little bit of Heaven-on-earth every day.

If you are feeling loaded down with resentment, do two things:

1. Go down the list of all of your loved ones and forgive them and release them from crying, or demanding, or anything else.

2. Practice thanking God for everything, including frustrating things (like when the belt pops off of the vacuum for the 50th time just before company arrives)--remember Romans 8:28.

We have enough things to shoulder each day. Let's lighten the load and walk free in Jesus!